Trouble Speaking

Yes, that's super common - especially when you're autistic and things get overwhelming. What you're describing sounds like situational mutism or a shutdown (not full selective mutism, which is more constant). It's your brain hitting pause on verbal output because it's overloaded - sensory, emotional, whatever. Lots of folks on forums like r/AutisticAdults or Embrace Autism talk about it: "I freeze, words just vanish, even if I know what I want to say."

You're already doing great - having backup like texting or writing is smart. That setup with your manager/supervisor? Gold. Parents waiting patiently? Even better.

For easier ways when it hits:

• Text-to-speech apps: Quick win. Try Speech Assistant AAC (free version's solid, cheap upgrade) - type fast, it speaks for you. Or Spoken (tap-to-talk, simple). Folks use these during shutdowns, so they don't have to force words. No fancy symbols needed - just type "need break" or whatever.
  
  
• Pre-written notes/phrases: Keep a note on your phone with go-tos: "Overwhelmed, give me 5 min." Or laminated cards if you prefer paper. Hand 'em over - no talking required.
  
  
• Gesture signals: A thumbs-up/down, or point to a "pause" icon you make. Some people use a red/yellow/green card system - like traffic lights - so others know your status without words.
  
  
• Breathing or grounding first: If you can, step away, deep breaths, or squeeze something (fidget toy). It sometimes unlocks speech faster than pushing.

It sucks in the moment, but it passes. And hey - you're not broken. You're just wired to protect yourself when noise hits.

I've had the cry when I'm in the meeting with them unable to talk 

This is something I experience as well. I’ve tried to explain to employers that I become nonverbal when overwhelmed and some understand while some refuse to and tell me to get over it. Usually I just cry in the bathroom until I can talk again. 

same, It's like my brain can't figure out how to speak the words that's why I always carry either a pen and notepad or my mobile around (laptop if it's a work meeting)

DormouseAtRest_25 said:

weighted lap pad

I'll have to look into this! thanks for suggestion

I'll have a look at the one you use at home and see what's it's like - even if it just helps me at home that's good!

I'll have a look at the 

Cinnabar_wing said:

calming weighted Koal

thanks for the link Hopefully it'll be seen as a reasonable adjustment at work if it looks good!

Some adults use a weighted lap pad in office environments.  It is smaller than a blanket.  Some people find it aids self-regulation.

I haven't tried one yet in an office but I have now saved up for one. 

I am going to practice with it at home when studying, reading, watching TV - to see what I think of its effect.  (Previously, I used a heavy duvet if sat in an armchair - warm, weighty, yet a bit inconvenient as it takes up so much space in the room).

In my case, my theory is it would be something of help to me during attending long in person meetings / presentations / training events, or during work from home online meetings / online training courses, or attending online wellbeing / healthcare appointments.

It might be the sort of thing made.accessible / affordable through the Access To Work scheme.

https://www.gov.uk/access-to-work

The one which I am trying out at home is this 7 lbs (3 kg) one

www.amazon.co.uk/.../ref=mp_s_a_1_1_sspa

You can see from the reviews people like the lap pads as they are so much more portable than my duvet work around!

Yes this happens to me when I’m angry or upset. I literally can’t speak. I can still understand what other people are saying to me and I have the words in my head but I can’t speak and completely can’t look at anyone. It’s a horrible feeling as feels out of control. 

When I dont speak, people find it frustrating and think I should have something to say. I dont know if its the same thing, but more often when I am overwhelmed I guess, or dont have the answers to a situation, dont have any words or cant explain.

I got my daughter this calming weighted Koala that goes through grounding exercises for her when she's overwhelmed, she seems to like it.  (thecalmnesscrew.com) 

But yeah, it's waiting till your not overwhelmed? Sorry I've not figured it out yet either!

I'm not sure exactly what triggers it, might be when I'm upset or really overwhelmed by something. I have techniques I try to use to calm down but sometimes they don't work and I end up at the stage i can't talk. 

It's really difficult when we need to talk and all we can do is sit being overwhelmed and write / type what we want to say

My daughter gets it a lot though, we have to leave paper and pencils around the house for her.

I only get that way very occasionally when completely overwhelmed. I had to use my phone to communicate, when I could calm down again I was okay to talk. It's difficult isn't it. Do you know your triggers if it happens often? Maybe if you can work on being able to calm down from them it might help to get you back quicker?