My daughter assumes she is being criticised when someone else is praised

Hi,

I am looking for some help/advice.

My 10 yr old daughter is very active doing Dance classes, Gymnastics and performing arts.  This is a great outlet for her and we actively encourage her in this.  The problem is that whenever anybody else recieves praise in these groups she automatically thinks this is a criticism of herself, ie, if another student is told she is good at back flips my daughter assumes that she must be bad at them.  This is causing particular issues with her not wanting to attend these clubs and coming home very upset, or angry with her teachers.

I would love to know if this behaviour has a name?  and if anyone else has experienced this and what you have done to support your child.

Thanks,

Matt

Parents
  • What you are describing sounds like RSD. I had some of these issues when I was younger, I still do to some extent. I wasn’t able to accept praise very well either, or enjoy those times as much as others (because pleasurable experiences can also be overwhelming and cross into feeling unpleasant because of their intensity).  So I also see not personally accepting or recognising praise when it is given as sometimes related to this It’s not that I didn’t recognise the difference it was just that that there was little emotional enjoyment gained from what seemed like small victories. Maybe in my case this is more PDA, that I sometime seek experience and outcomes without full engaging with situation, people and emotions. They (pda/rda) are different sides of the same coin.

Reply
  • What you are describing sounds like RSD. I had some of these issues when I was younger, I still do to some extent. I wasn’t able to accept praise very well either, or enjoy those times as much as others (because pleasurable experiences can also be overwhelming and cross into feeling unpleasant because of their intensity).  So I also see not personally accepting or recognising praise when it is given as sometimes related to this It’s not that I didn’t recognise the difference it was just that that there was little emotional enjoyment gained from what seemed like small victories. Maybe in my case this is more PDA, that I sometime seek experience and outcomes without full engaging with situation, people and emotions. They (pda/rda) are different sides of the same coin.

Children
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