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My daughter assumes she is being criticised when someone else is praised

Hayes30

Hi,

I am looking for some help/advice.

My 10 yr old daughter is very active doing Dance classes, Gymnastics and performing arts.  This is a great outlet for her and we actively encourage her in this.  The problem is that whenever anybody else recieves praise in these groups she automatically thinks this is a criticism of herself, ie, if another student is told she is good at back flips my daughter assumes that she must be bad at them.  This is causing particular issues with her not wanting to attend these clubs and coming home very upset, or angry with her teachers.

I would love to know if this behaviour has a name?  and if anyone else has experienced this and what you have done to support your child.

Thanks,

Matt

Parents

  • Hi  I have done a little research and learn that this behaviour is often referred to in psychology as Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) or sometimes linked to maladaptive perfectionism.

    I believe what the resource of the excellent  does not explicitly explore Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), but instead analyzes the social dynamics and upward social comparison triggered by witnessing others' success.  I think that the biggest difference is the strong emotional component - however I suggest research and compare for oneself is important.

    Where I you,  now that I have a name I might be able to search for support strategies - one assumes that since you ask on this website these would be best tailored to autism and naturally your daughter and your family and I suspect their class teachers and friends personally.  

    If this doesn't resolve things then specialist help from someone who understands and can work to help with neurodiversity and emotional regulation would be the next step i would take myself.

    I believe that these activities remain highly beneficial but require a different approach to coaching and environment for autistic people.  When the environment is right, the three activities are actually excellent for autistic people .  (hehe speaking as one who know by experience - my school report from that age especially commended my "country dancing" skills, public speaking classes helped me speak up and later in life arts training really helped me understand human movement and emotions)

    Best wishes 

Reply

  • Hi  I have done a little research and learn that this behaviour is often referred to in psychology as Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) or sometimes linked to maladaptive perfectionism.

    I believe what the resource of the excellent  does not explicitly explore Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), but instead analyzes the social dynamics and upward social comparison triggered by witnessing others' success.  I think that the biggest difference is the strong emotional component - however I suggest research and compare for oneself is important.

    Where I you,  now that I have a name I might be able to search for support strategies - one assumes that since you ask on this website these would be best tailored to autism and naturally your daughter and your family and I suspect their class teachers and friends personally.  

    If this doesn't resolve things then specialist help from someone who understands and can work to help with neurodiversity and emotional regulation would be the next step i would take myself.

    I believe that these activities remain highly beneficial but require a different approach to coaching and environment for autistic people.  When the environment is right, the three activities are actually excellent for autistic people .  (hehe speaking as one who know by experience - my school report from that age especially commended my "country dancing" skills, public speaking classes helped me speak up and later in life arts training really helped me understand human movement and emotions)

    Best wishes 

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