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My daughter assumes she is being criticised when someone else is praised

Hayes30

Hi,

I am looking for some help/advice.

My 10 yr old daughter is very active doing Dance classes, Gymnastics and performing arts.  This is a great outlet for her and we actively encourage her in this.  The problem is that whenever anybody else recieves praise in these groups she automatically thinks this is a criticism of herself, ie, if another student is told she is good at back flips my daughter assumes that she must be bad at them.  This is causing particular issues with her not wanting to attend these clubs and coming home very upset, or angry with her teachers.

I would love to know if this behaviour has a name?  and if anyone else has experienced this and what you have done to support your child.

Thanks,

Matt

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  • Hayes30 said:
    I would love to know if this behaviour has a name?

    I don't think it is a specific enough behaviour to have its own name in relation to autism, but there is an article on the subject here that explains how it relates to upward social comparison:

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/why-bad-looks-good/202303/the-perils-of-public-praise

    Overview

    The behavior where praise of others is perceived as criticism of oneself is often linked to feelings of envy and low self-esteem. This reaction can stem from a psychological phenomenon known as upward social comparison.


    Key Concepts

        Upward Social Comparison: This occurs when individuals compare themselves to others who they perceive as better or more successful. Such comparisons can lead to feelings of inadequacy and jealousy.

        Self-Criticism: Individuals who are highly self-critical may interpret praise directed at others as a reflection of their own shortcomings. This can create a negative emotional response.

        Narcissistic Traits: People with narcissistic tendencies may also react negatively to others' praise, feeling threatened by the acknowledgment of someone else's achievements.

    Implications

    This behavior can affect interpersonal relationships and self-esteem. It may lead to resentment towards those who receive praise, as well as a cycle of self-criticism and negative emotions. Understanding this behavior can help individuals address their feelings and improve their self-perception.

Reply
  • Hayes30 said:
    I would love to know if this behaviour has a name?

    I don't think it is a specific enough behaviour to have its own name in relation to autism, but there is an article on the subject here that explains how it relates to upward social comparison:

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/why-bad-looks-good/202303/the-perils-of-public-praise

    Overview

    The behavior where praise of others is perceived as criticism of oneself is often linked to feelings of envy and low self-esteem. This reaction can stem from a psychological phenomenon known as upward social comparison.


    Key Concepts

        Upward Social Comparison: This occurs when individuals compare themselves to others who they perceive as better or more successful. Such comparisons can lead to feelings of inadequacy and jealousy.

        Self-Criticism: Individuals who are highly self-critical may interpret praise directed at others as a reflection of their own shortcomings. This can create a negative emotional response.

        Narcissistic Traits: People with narcissistic tendencies may also react negatively to others' praise, feeling threatened by the acknowledgment of someone else's achievements.

    Implications

    This behavior can affect interpersonal relationships and self-esteem. It may lead to resentment towards those who receive praise, as well as a cycle of self-criticism and negative emotions. Understanding this behavior can help individuals address their feelings and improve their self-perception.

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