• Replies 25 replies
  • Subscribers 22 subscribers
  • Views 807 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Anyone else always been told to smile?

BeaE

At every stage in my life someone has told me to smile or commented on my facial expression in a similar way.

The first time I remember this was a comment made by a girl at nursery.

During high school multiple teachers directly told me to smile, or singled me out and directed a joke at me to try and make me laugh. My mum ended up having school put a note on the register telling teachers not to tell me to smile or cheer up!

During school photos, I always received comments like 'you can look happier than that'.

Most recently, people at uni (and to a lesser extent at work) have misinterpreted my expressions, commenting on me 'trying not to laugh', or looking 'terrified', even when I'm actively trying to make the right face.

I'm now wondering if I'm always making the 'wrong' face, and it's only occasionally that people comment.

I don't think anyone means any harm by these sorts of comments, but it's getting pretty annoying at this point and I never know how to reply. I'd never comment on someone's facial expression, and find it very odd that people so frequently comment on mine. Has anyone else experienced this/got any insights? It's pretty random, so I wouldn't be surprised if it's unique to me!

Parents

  • Like CInnabarwing I've often been told to smile by men, the next bloke who says "cheer up love it may never happen", is going to get a smack in the face, so prevalent is this attitude from men to women, that some women in a shop I go to a lot have offered to have a whip round and bail me out if I get arrested for it. Usually I'm in thinking about something like what I need to buy, what to cook for dinner. I deeply resent this idea that I have to look all gooey and smiley to please some random man. How do they know it's not happened?

    Sorry that was a bit of a rant, but this pressure to smile all the time really irritates me. I don't know what the answer is apart from a rude one with lots of FFF's, but your facial expressions are yours and not there soley to please other people. You probably have a rich inner life which you're focussed on, not the palidness of everyday interactions with random strangers.

    I avoid being photographed, I've never liked it, even as a child, I was always the one pulling a stupid face at the last minute, or hiding behind someone else, not easy at my height, or looking at my shoes.

  • in reply to TheCatWoman

    I agree the pressure to smile for the sake of other people (especially random men) is very irritating

    TheCatWoman said:
    I was always the one pulling a stupid face at the last minute

    Thanks for mentioning this, it's made me remember some very funny photos of me intentionally pouting as a young child!

  • in reply to BeaE

    My Dad fancied himself a photographer, we had hundreds of pictures of me and my Mum stood in front of things, I think thats where my dislike of photo's started, but I realised I'm quite poor at recognising myself in photos, I might remember the occaision they were taken and the other people there, but I don't recognise myself. 

Reply
  • in reply to BeaE

    My Dad fancied himself a photographer, we had hundreds of pictures of me and my Mum stood in front of things, I think thats where my dislike of photo's started, but I realised I'm quite poor at recognising myself in photos, I might remember the occaision they were taken and the other people there, but I don't recognise myself. 

Children
No Data