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Looking for Advice on Workplace Difficulties and Advocacy Support

MrTomFoolery

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for guidance about a difficult situation at work. I’m currently in the last days of a mental health leave. The leave was triggered by intense pressure to improve my performance under threat of dismissal. I’ve been having weekly review meetings, and the tone has been very critical, which has pushed me into an unhealthy mindset. I work as a web developer and am required to be in the office; requests to work from home were declined because of my performance.

This is the third time in a year I’ve needed time off for my mental health. After the previous episode, we started discussing workplace adjustments to help manage stress and improve performance. However, after speaking with my therapist about the most recent issues, I’ve realized that many of my struggles are closely tied to my autism. I have difficulty focusing, I’m very quiet in meetings, and the harsh language used in the weekly reviews triggers strong emotional responses. I also get overwhelmed easily, especially when my workflow is disrupted by sudden requests from clients or colleagues. One of the biggest triggers before my recent leave was being told I was only 5% into a two‑day project despite having logged 16 hours. I had no idea how to respond or why I was apparently so slow. I now understand that without appropriate accommodations, my autism can significantly affect my working speed and ability to cope — and that this needs to be recognized and supported.

For my return to work, I need to emphasis that my autism requires proper accommodation. My therapist strongly recommended that I get an advocate to support me in these weekly meetings and help ensure I’m receiving appropriate adjustments. I’m seeing my GP later today to request a referral to my local NHS autism service who I am hoping can provide the advocate, or at least point me in the right direction.

What I’d like to know is:

  • Has anyone been in a similar situation, and what helped you

  • How can I make sure I’m receiving the right support and adjustments

  • How should I respond when work says I don’t know what support I need, or that the support they’ve offered isn’t enough

  • If anyone has advice on receiving an advocate at work

Any advice or shared experiences would be really appreciated.

Thank you

Parents

  • The situation sucks.

    The advice from Bluelyn is sound.

    I would ask for a referral to Occupational Health. Get everything in writing, you made need it later.

    I found myself in a similar situation at work just as I was diagnosed. My manager did not accept my requests for adjustments and ignored occ health advice. I was excluded from my role and placed into temporary positions. Effectively my career was ended.

    I am now on a countdown for my employment tribunal in the next couple of months.

    You need to frame your adjustments requests around your autism saying why you need something. Supposedly the law (Equality Act) is on your side. Do your employers know about your autism? If not tell them as then they cannot claim ignorance.

    I empathise with you having being gone through and still am what you are going through. It is not easy and you need to be strong.

    Have a look at valla website. You will find lots of information regarding employment tribunals and the law.

    Stay strong and best of luck

Reply

  • The situation sucks.

    The advice from Bluelyn is sound.

    I would ask for a referral to Occupational Health. Get everything in writing, you made need it later.

    I found myself in a similar situation at work just as I was diagnosed. My manager did not accept my requests for adjustments and ignored occ health advice. I was excluded from my role and placed into temporary positions. Effectively my career was ended.

    I am now on a countdown for my employment tribunal in the next couple of months.

    You need to frame your adjustments requests around your autism saying why you need something. Supposedly the law (Equality Act) is on your side. Do your employers know about your autism? If not tell them as then they cannot claim ignorance.

    I empathise with you having being gone through and still am what you are going through. It is not easy and you need to be strong.

    Have a look at valla website. You will find lots of information regarding employment tribunals and the law.

    Stay strong and best of luck

Children
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