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Looking for Advice on Workplace Difficulties and Advocacy Support

MrTomFoolery

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for guidance about a difficult situation at work. I’m currently in the last days of a mental health leave. The leave was triggered by intense pressure to improve my performance under threat of dismissal. I’ve been having weekly review meetings, and the tone has been very critical, which has pushed me into an unhealthy mindset. I work as a web developer and am required to be in the office; requests to work from home were declined because of my performance.

This is the third time in a year I’ve needed time off for my mental health. After the previous episode, we started discussing workplace adjustments to help manage stress and improve performance. However, after speaking with my therapist about the most recent issues, I’ve realized that many of my struggles are closely tied to my autism. I have difficulty focusing, I’m very quiet in meetings, and the harsh language used in the weekly reviews triggers strong emotional responses. I also get overwhelmed easily, especially when my workflow is disrupted by sudden requests from clients or colleagues. One of the biggest triggers before my recent leave was being told I was only 5% into a two‑day project despite having logged 16 hours. I had no idea how to respond or why I was apparently so slow. I now understand that without appropriate accommodations, my autism can significantly affect my working speed and ability to cope — and that this needs to be recognized and supported.

For my return to work, I need to emphasis that my autism requires proper accommodation. My therapist strongly recommended that I get an advocate to support me in these weekly meetings and help ensure I’m receiving appropriate adjustments. I’m seeing my GP later today to request a referral to my local NHS autism service who I am hoping can provide the advocate, or at least point me in the right direction.

What I’d like to know is:

  • Has anyone been in a similar situation, and what helped you

  • How can I make sure I’m receiving the right support and adjustments

  • How should I respond when work says I don’t know what support I need, or that the support they’ve offered isn’t enough

  • If anyone has advice on receiving an advocate at work

Any advice or shared experiences would be really appreciated.

Thank you

Parents

  • I would consider two things 

    • Ask your GP for a referral to an occupational health service, you can also ask your employer to do the same.

    An occupational health report carries significant weight with employers because it comes from a medical professional and frames adjustments as clinical recommendations rather than personal requests.

    • Request a Workplace Needs Assessment

    Under the equality act you have a right to request reasonable adjustments and a WNA can help work with you and your employer to identify the correct reasonable adjustments that will support you. This can be done via access to work, but the waiting time is so long I wouldn't suggest that.

    • Framing the Impact of Constant Reviews

    When raising this formally, the language that tends to land well is rooted in the Equality Act 2010. Your autism is a protected characteristic, and your employer has a legal duty to make reasonable adjustments. You can write to HR (email is best it creates a paper trail) and state clearly:

    1. You have a diagnosis of autism which constitutes a disability under the Equality Act
    2. The current weekly review format, including critical/evaluative language, is a known trigger that significantly impairs your executive functioning and can cause meltdowns
    3. This amounts to a provision, criterion or practice that places you at a substantial disadvantage compared to non-disabled colleagues
    4. You are requesting a formal workplace needs assessment to identify appropriate adjustments

    Keep it factual and clinical in tone. You're not complaining, you're invoking a legal framework. You could possibly get ACAS to help you with wording.

Reply

  • I would consider two things 

    • Ask your GP for a referral to an occupational health service, you can also ask your employer to do the same.

    An occupational health report carries significant weight with employers because it comes from a medical professional and frames adjustments as clinical recommendations rather than personal requests.

    • Request a Workplace Needs Assessment

    Under the equality act you have a right to request reasonable adjustments and a WNA can help work with you and your employer to identify the correct reasonable adjustments that will support you. This can be done via access to work, but the waiting time is so long I wouldn't suggest that.

    • Framing the Impact of Constant Reviews

    When raising this formally, the language that tends to land well is rooted in the Equality Act 2010. Your autism is a protected characteristic, and your employer has a legal duty to make reasonable adjustments. You can write to HR (email is best it creates a paper trail) and state clearly:

    1. You have a diagnosis of autism which constitutes a disability under the Equality Act
    2. The current weekly review format, including critical/evaluative language, is a known trigger that significantly impairs your executive functioning and can cause meltdowns
    3. This amounts to a provision, criterion or practice that places you at a substantial disadvantage compared to non-disabled colleagues
    4. You are requesting a formal workplace needs assessment to identify appropriate adjustments

    Keep it factual and clinical in tone. You're not complaining, you're invoking a legal framework. You could possibly get ACAS to help you with wording.

Children
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