I’m exhausted and my head jumps around. I don’t have capacity for all the things. My brain is severely damaged. I’m confused by everyone. I’m also angry but instead of one amount I have tons to cope with. Physically I was pushed to extreme via meds and obesity when my bones are so thin. I’m in pain all the time and my grass in severe pain all the time. I’m overloaded and have been for a long time. I hate my body everyday which the NHS did. My brain feels shrink and I can’t tolerate any heat as it pushes my brain further. I won’t be able to take much more and I have to go back and live around people at the end of the week. I won’t be able to cope with them and everything else plus my body and brain. I was collapsing in 2018 and years before fell down stairs and after 2018 the same thing. I was carrying 9 stone extra in weight and I’m 5 ft 3/4 and also my belonging in a backpack in top and maxed out on medications I shouldn’t have been on which caused the high cholesterol and weight and brain harm and the weight on my spine and knees and back. My heads been severely messed with via meds and all the mental health and gaslighting and people outside and degraded and it’s been happening for 22 years. Some days something and the overload floods my brain or I see someone or some stimuli and it’s killing ne every time. I have far too much in my head and it’s too much and I’ve already had my brain damaged with meds and damaged my body severely and had my head severely messed with and now even if everyone stopped doing this it’s still going to be severe as it went on everyday for 22 years entrenched and ingrained and the mind games and all the severe suicidal ideation everyday for 20 years and it will never stop and every face outside and every comment and everyday my body and brain are damaged and my head feels shrunk inside and I’m also dehydrated with migraines and any heat at all harms me so much. My body has been collapsing since I started meds 20 years ago as meds are severely harmful to my brain and body. No one is caring that my healthy weight for being 5 ft 3 was 8 stone which I was and that I was made 17 and a half stone on thin bones for years which has crushed me as it’s 9 abd and a half stone on top of my bones which was far too much for the NHS todo to me with meds and my spine is sore and my skin all stretched and the statins prescribed in early 30s and I’m only 40 now and I shouldn’t ever have been on the meds. My brain has been harmed so much with meds and scrambled and I’ve been gaslighted and mind games played on me for decades and slightest heat is damaging the only bit of my brain left and I know my health has been severely harmed and I won’t live long with the health and brain harm and I do t want to live either and everyone thinks it’s okay to abuse me mentally and treat me like scum and forward my GDPR which has made me incredibly unsafe and no one is helping me.
