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building a healthy self-image - i'm looking for recommendations

LGK

When I learnt I was autistic I had a 24-48 hour period where I suddenly remembered a gazillion of interactions with friends and strangers who strongly encouraged me to get a diagnosis. In response I'd just tell people to stop labelling me and refused to book a GP appointment. 

Has anyone had anything sort of similar?

When I had psychoanalysis, we'd weekly talk about this idea of deriving satisfaction from contentious self-sabotage. Example: job interviews where I talked too much.Romantic situations turned massively dramatic as people discovered that I was somewhat economic with the truth as to who I was as a person. 

Have you been able to repair your relationship with yourself? What has worked? Do you have a detailed guide to re-learn how to trust your senses and brain? Are there resources explaining the links between sensory processing and mood changes?

Do you have recommendations for lifestyle choices that tilt the focus toward emotional well-being? 

Do you have good recommendations for scientific articles, self-help books, or even psychoanalytic theory that can be reappropriated? 

  • in reply to LGK
    LGK said:
    psychoanalysis doesn't take into account excess and misalignment, or only very reluctantly

    It sounds like you have not got a very capable psychoanalyst. They should be trained to help those who are misaligned and find ways to help them with their resistance to the techniques that they are trying to use to overcome their issues

    I would focus on finding someone who has experiene in helping autists and work with them. If they are using old models of analysis in a rigid way then it is not surprising it is not working for an autist.

    I note thant a psychoanalyst is a more specialised form of a psychotherapist but should be ideal for the issues you describe. For the less informed reading this, there is a good article here that explains the differences:

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/headshrinkers-guide-the-galaxy/201706/the-difference-between-psychoanalysis-and-psychotherapy

    Of course this is all in the opinion of some random bloke off the internet so should be taken with a huge pinch of salt.

  • in reply to Iain

    Hey Iain, 

    The objection I have against psychoanalysis is that if I correct an analyst on what I find incorrect, they are liable to treat it as resistance or a neurotic form of rebelling against authority. 

    Whereas sometimes it is just that I can't convey things perfect and they make snap judgements on topics I may not have extrapolated on sufficiently well. 

    Other times it can happen that the psychoanalyst tries to use you to explore problems they find concerning. So I strongly dislike the concept of countertransference.

    Ultimately, what I genuinely appreciate about autism is that it doesn't conform to the norms. Based on those two years in Lacanian psychoanalysis what I became wary of is the analyst's innate need to think in terms of structure (paranoid, neurotic), and patterns.

    But psychoanalysis doesn't take into account excess and misalignment, or only very reluctantly. 

  • LGK said:
    When I had psychoanalysis

    Do you still use this sort of therapist? If you can find one who understands autism well then they should have the tools to help you break down your barriers to find the real self hiding behind the self sabotage.

    Books and articles are too generic for what you are asking for in my opinion. You need a specialist such as a psychotherapist who will walk you through the whole process, push you back on track when you are sliding away and see through your attempts at self sabotage. Once they get to really know you then you can't hide so you are held on track to get to see the real you, stripped of its defences and to help you rebuild from this core.

    It is an emotionally raw experience but one that I think is necessary to strip away all the barriers and defences you have created.

    When you think of your history, would you trust yourelf to follow the teachings of a book when you have only partial understanding of the process and the factors involved? 

    I went through this process and it took me a good few months to get back to a normalish state from it, but it gave me a base to build upon, to create new friendships and relationships using the tools and techniques I learned and to be open, honest and direct wherever possible.

    This really isn't thing that lends itself to self help.

    All in my opinion of course.