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Recently Diagnosed Autism & ADHD looking for adult support networks

Modern Nature

Hello, 

I’m 57 and after 2yrs of trying to go through NHs for assessment and a Lot of bureaucracy, I went through right to choose and got both assessments in 6 months receiving both diagnoses. During the the long duration all I really could find was clinical information or self help books. At the heart of both was great beginning information in a general sense, but not much that touched on support, exploration, or community.

I have been able to find anything other than coaching or the offer of CBT.

I am longing to meet other late diagnosed adults and share in community and conversation. I want to feel safe without having to explain how I regulate, process information, or why I feel lonely.

I’ve some beautiful friends, but as I begin to understand a lifetime of masking externally and internally, they don’t understand the grief over my life lived or empathise emotionally. I get a lot of self help tips but little compassion.

I am hoping within this community I can find resources, organisations, or online/real life support groups.

Thanks

  • Congratulations on your diagnoses and welcome to the community!

    Following diagnosis, it can be common for us to experience a lot of emotional dysregulation. Besides perhaps feeling some relief about having an explanation for our difficulties, this can include working through a phase where we experience changing mixes of confusion, uncertainty, so-called "imposter syndrome", and/or (backward-focused) anger, frustration, grieving, and more. So please don't worry - it's normal! 

    As for many others here, my own diagnosis turned out to be the start of a new journey, rather than providing solutions for my difficulties.

    The NAS has a great set of articles focused on "after diagnosis", including one covering how you might feel during the subsequent days / weeks / months. You might find them of interest and/or helpful:

    NAS - How you might feel after a diagnosis - includes perspectives from other autistics

    NAS - Other advice covering post-diagnosis including:

    • Talking about and disclosing your autism diagnosis
    • Emotional support for family members after a diagnosis
    • Formal support following an autism diagnosis
    • What can I do if formal support is not offered or is not enough

    Therapy (or counselling) is often recommended after a diagnosis, as a follow up action for your GP to arrange. If you prefer, depending on where you are in the UK, you may instead be able to self refer for talking therapy on the NHS.

    Before arranging it, you might find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. CBT in its unadapted form, for example, doesn't always suit our needs. Several of us here have found it very helpful:

    The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

    Finally, I'll just mention a couple of other books that I and others have found helpful early on in our post-diagnosis journeys:

    Self-Care for Autistic People: 100+ Ways to Recharge, De-Stress, and Unmask!

    How to Be Autistic (free download currently available via this page)

    Besides this forum itself, some other sources of information about support groups and services include the NAS's directory and ADHD charities:

    NAS - Autism Services Directory

    ADHD UK - Support