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Struggling with using "demanding" words?

rory.doctor07

This is a difficult one to explain. Since I discovered my terrible PDA (pathological demand avoidance), I noticed that there are certain words I can't say I'm doing since it makes me feel like I'm following a demand and I feel humiliated/embarrassed by it. I finished my A levels and now I'm at university, but I cannot say things like "I'm studying" or when I was in school, I could never say "I have homework". I guess because it's a demand where I have no other options, and saying it out loud somehow makes me feel inferior? Anyway that's it. I've never heard this spoken about (because it's so specific) but it would be wonderful to hear from anyone who gets me :) 

  • Hello  

    Thank you for sharing this with the Community. If you were interested, here is some information on the NAS around Demand Avoidance, which also includes ways in which to identify and assess it and support strategies: Demand avoidance

    I hope this helps,

    Chloe Mod

  • Do you think it is PDA or ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) you have? These are similar in that the demand on you results in a reaction but PDA is more about avoiding the task while ODD is about defying the requester.

    There is a good article on this here: https://www.sondermind.com/resources/articles-and-content/what-is-pathological-demand-avoidance/

    There are a load of links at the bottom of the article for support resources.

    From the non verbal responses you mention I think it would be helpful for you to talk with a licensed psychotherapist who understands this subject - there may be other issues of shame that you can benefit from working through with them and both understanding yourself better and finding coping mechanisms that help you live a better quality of life.

    The uni psychology dept may have options for free or discounted sessions with their graduates as they need real world practice and are likely to have an experienced mentor sitting in on the session to make sure the advice is properly delivered.