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Really struggling with working full time

KingNothing330

Hi all, I’m new to using these forums, I recently (unintentionally) upset some people by venting and asking for advice on Facebook so I thought I would try here. 

I am 25, I was late diagnosed with ASD at 22, I’ve been employed for almost a decade now and have worked in a variety of different roles and work environments. I currently work in the care industry as a support worker, I have just had to take 2 weeks off sick on doctors orders due to the sheer amount of stress and anxiety my job gives me, I have only been back for two days and somehow feel even worse than I did before I went off sick. I have lost a substantial amount of weight due to lack of appetite, my hair is falling out, I constantly feel sick, having panic attacks frequently and much more but have been told by my GP that it is all stress related and no further underlying health issue/s. 

I genuinely feel as though I am unsuitable for most / maybe even all jobs at this point, I’ve tried so many and nothing seems to work even with reasonable adjustments being made. I do not just have ASD but quite the extensive list of health conditions that make working extremely difficult for me, I am currently trying to make a PIP claim so I can go down to part time work but my health record is not accurate and missing conditions and until I can get my doctors to resolve this issue, I cannot claim… I have too many bills to pay and going part time without financial support is impossible. 

My next shift is on Friday and I don’t know what to do, my company is making me have a meeting with HR because I messed up at work and accidentally broke a policy (I genuinely didn’t understand), they have no patience or understanding for my health and wellbeing and I am terrified I am about to lose another job and if that happens I’ll have to sell my car which has helped me massively since I struggle badly with public transport. I am out of options, any advice at all is massively appreciated. Thank you.

Parents
  • KingNothing330 said:
    I am out of options,

    You do find yourself in a difficult situation and it seems that the root cause of most of it is the anxiety stemming from your autism (based on what you describe).

    Normally I would recommend ways of learning to cope better but your particular situation seems to call for a different approach so I'll suggest something I would not normally do.

    Have you asked your GP for medication to help you cope better? This needs to be considered carefully and ideally tested as it can impair your ability to function in some situations and if you need to be sharp and alert then it may be counter productive or even a danger to yourself or others.

    If you decide to go this route then please make a list of points to discuss with your doctor about how it can affect your ability to work and how to regulate it.

    All that said, this is only a sticking plaster on the problem - it just numbs you so you can function so you need to consider ways of dealing with the underlying stress response to your work and this is a long, slow process.

    I would work out in detail what things are the stressers at work and list them - you may want to share them with us and we can help suggest alternative jobs that avoid these stressers.

    The sort of jobs that have appealed to other autists include working in a warehouse, a postal worker, dog walker etc - mostly jobs that have low human contact so it may appeal to you.

    Autists with roles in call centers, schools etc with lots of human contact report much higher levels of stress. These would be ones to avoid.

    With your current job, my approach would be to consider that it is all over but the HR meetings and would continue to go but not worry about losing it - I would consider it already lost and would be searching for the next one. This is an approach I use of assuming the worst and hoping for the best so that if the expected bad thing happens then I have already catered for it and it does not knock me down.

    The same goes for your car - assume you will have to sell it, work out alternatives that fit your price bracket (moped, bicycle etc) and be ready. Yes it sucks but by knowing what to do when you need to do it, you don't have that stress to deal with when you will already feel down.

    There is a lot to think about here - but remember that I'm just some random person off the internet so don't blindly follow my advice without doing your own research please.

Reply
  • KingNothing330 said:
    I am out of options,

    You do find yourself in a difficult situation and it seems that the root cause of most of it is the anxiety stemming from your autism (based on what you describe).

    Normally I would recommend ways of learning to cope better but your particular situation seems to call for a different approach so I'll suggest something I would not normally do.

    Have you asked your GP for medication to help you cope better? This needs to be considered carefully and ideally tested as it can impair your ability to function in some situations and if you need to be sharp and alert then it may be counter productive or even a danger to yourself or others.

    If you decide to go this route then please make a list of points to discuss with your doctor about how it can affect your ability to work and how to regulate it.

    All that said, this is only a sticking plaster on the problem - it just numbs you so you can function so you need to consider ways of dealing with the underlying stress response to your work and this is a long, slow process.

    I would work out in detail what things are the stressers at work and list them - you may want to share them with us and we can help suggest alternative jobs that avoid these stressers.

    The sort of jobs that have appealed to other autists include working in a warehouse, a postal worker, dog walker etc - mostly jobs that have low human contact so it may appeal to you.

    Autists with roles in call centers, schools etc with lots of human contact report much higher levels of stress. These would be ones to avoid.

    With your current job, my approach would be to consider that it is all over but the HR meetings and would continue to go but not worry about losing it - I would consider it already lost and would be searching for the next one. This is an approach I use of assuming the worst and hoping for the best so that if the expected bad thing happens then I have already catered for it and it does not knock me down.

    The same goes for your car - assume you will have to sell it, work out alternatives that fit your price bracket (moped, bicycle etc) and be ready. Yes it sucks but by knowing what to do when you need to do it, you don't have that stress to deal with when you will already feel down.

    There is a lot to think about here - but remember that I'm just some random person off the internet so don't blindly follow my advice without doing your own research please.

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