I have nightmares

When I wake from it, I listen to ASMR rain videos on YouTube with my headphones. I hope I don't get banned for saying this.

When I was between one to four years old, my mother assaulted me. She repeatedly punched me and did things like poured my dinner over my head if I didn't finish it. I can't go into detail or you won't be able to sleep either. I have two sisters. One of them went into foster care because her GP saw the bruises. My mother told them that she fell down the stairs, but they knew.

Unfortunately they left me there. I forgive her as what she expericenced in her country was 10 times worse. It's not her fault.

I jcan block it out during the day, but I remember the attacks when I sleep.Your just playing with your toys in your bedroom and your mother comes in and attacks you without provocation. Oh God!

I look after her now as she is old. I live with her atm. I don't mention it. She doesn't accept my autism. My GP has given me pregablin which is helping.

Parents
  • I kept waking up all through the night and going to the toilet to try and force pee out, but nothing came out. I remember waking up and the bed was damp, so I tried to hide my duvet in the wardrobe.

    When I got older, I started suffering from sleep paralysis. My nightmares are random. They are not visually associated with my childhood traumas, but I think they are the catalyst. I don't know why I'm posting this. Things got a lot worse after that up to the age of 14, but I'll stop sharing. This isn't the place. It just helps writing it down. Please delete if inappropriate.

    I just wondered if anyone else experienced something similar.

Reply
  • I kept waking up all through the night and going to the toilet to try and force pee out, but nothing came out. I remember waking up and the bed was damp, so I tried to hide my duvet in the wardrobe.

    When I got older, I started suffering from sleep paralysis. My nightmares are random. They are not visually associated with my childhood traumas, but I think they are the catalyst. I don't know why I'm posting this. Things got a lot worse after that up to the age of 14, but I'll stop sharing. This isn't the place. It just helps writing it down. Please delete if inappropriate.

    I just wondered if anyone else experienced something similar.

Children
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