Hi all,
I’m newly diagnosed Autistic with suspected ADHD and low support needs. I was diagnosed in August in my late 20s. In a way I’m quite happy with my diagnosis it now allows me to just accept myself and know that all my quirks are normal.
Everyone around me accepts who I am, and some even make jokes about it. Such as “can I use your autistic brain for a moment.”
However one thing I can’t shake is my bosses interactions and comments constantly, not necessarily directly aimed at me but autistic people as a whole.
They know about my diagnosis and I even gave them a letter confirming this from Psychiatry UK. I didn’t give them the full report as it contained information that I think is unnessesary to the role, and I think they could be super gossipy about it if they found out. However I know they don’t believe me and my diagnosis and think it’s just a label.
I’ve had a life where I’ve achieved a lot, but equally gone through so much. However, in whatever I do I go through it with a good kind and caring heart. I have lots of awesome caring people in my life.
I know my bosses aren’t the sort to understand autism and I have long accepted that I do not talk about it to them. However because of the nature of my job sometimes things come up. Sometimes I agree with them, we occasionally have to work with SEND parents who can be very difficult, however I am fed up of hearing nasty comments about “they are just naughty, they just need to get on with it, or everyone just wants a label.” Or there’s a real over diagnosis at the moment. However, you never hear this in context of cancer, Alzheimers, Dementia, or most conditions in fact. No one says “there is an over diagnosis of people with cancer.” I’m not comparing the two, but it’s such a stupid statement.
Today the topic of school avoidance came up, I was not a victim of this as such. However, I did have an incredibly difficult time in secondary school. There was a time where I was physically ill with anxiety every single morning for a good year. To me I always felt like something bad was going to happen, more often than not it did, and when I would go to the teachers I would be told “it was all in my head, stop overthinking.” I was always telling the truth. Some teachers I really got on with and I did very well in school, overs definitely not. I now know the reason I struggled with certain aspects was because of blatant autism.
My sister on the other hand massively struggled in secondary school. Shes not diagnosed, not sure she even suggests signs of it. She had major anxiety in school to a point where she would not go in despite how many times my dad tried. She would get violent, rip uniform, escape, cry, throw up, harm herself, lock herself in bathrooms. She could not do it. She was a smart kid, she coped well in primary but she could not cope with big school. She went to three different schools even one just around the corner (literally.) but could not do it. She ended up at a SEND school where she really thrived before going on to a 14-16 school run by the local college. (I was at the college at this time.)
We were talking about the topic and school avoidance, and they suggested that it wasn’t real and it was the result of lazy parenting. I jumped in and told the story of my sister, they suggested my parents should have done more. Like what- she had to go therapy, and had a support worker helping to get to the bottom of it, but no one ever did. We just established that she didn’t like corridors and busy places.
I mentioned this to them that she could not handle these to which my boss said “this is the sort of thing that would really trigger (my colleague)” he works in a high school as his main job- but in a different county. I was angry. Because they suggested my parents hadn’t worked hard enough and joked about being “triggered by corridors”.
So I continued telling the story of how my other sibling decided at the age of 17 that education was not for her and got herself a basic teenager job, and eventually moved companies to where she is now and is doing well. Shes now mid 20s. I on the other hand went on to university, I got myself a masters degree, and then went to work in the industry. My dad, now gone unfortunately always did the best he could. I feel so angry by their comments but I wish I could say these were just an isolated incident.
My bosses know I’m autistic and diagnosed, but I don’t think they believe it even though I have given the diagnosis letter in black and white. I don’t know what to do.
