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Feeling overwhelmed when reaching out, does anyone else experience this?

Lonehare12

I wanted to ask about something I noticed recently about myself.

When I tried to PM someone to thank them for their efforts supporting people here, I felt a really awful, physical feeling in my body, almost dread. I think it might be related to RSD or sensitivity around showing vulnerability.

It felt like because of all the unknowns around it, the uncertainty of it all, I nearly talked myself out of it.

Is this because of my AUDHD or are NT people like this too.

I wonder if others experience something similar?

How do you manage it, and does it help to try small steps, like sending a message or accepting compliments?

Parents

  • Don’t know if it’s related but I can be that scared of saying the wrong thing that I very often hold back. I have typed so many messages here and deleted them rather than post because of a fear of not saying the right thing. 
    Could it be related to how we possibly feel things in our body as in the intensity of emotions when reaching out? 

    I have already typed and then deleted so much on this thread. This is why my posts are usually short responses as I’m trying to guess how it will be interpreted by others. 

    Lonehare12 said:
    accepting compliments

    Can I give you a compliment and say thank you for posting a response on a thread I started at the weekend? It helped 

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  • Don’t know if it’s related but I can be that scared of saying the wrong thing that I very often hold back. I have typed so many messages here and deleted them rather than post because of a fear of not saying the right thing. 
    Could it be related to how we possibly feel things in our body as in the intensity of emotions when reaching out? 

    I have already typed and then deleted so much on this thread. This is why my posts are usually short responses as I’m trying to guess how it will be interpreted by others. 

    Lonehare12 said:
    accepting compliments

    Can I give you a compliment and say thank you for posting a response on a thread I started at the weekend? It helped 

Children
  • in reply to Take5

    I haven’t PMd anyone, but I have typed and deleted things, although not so much recently except to make minor word or typo corrections. I too think  has posted good advice.

    This community is a good place to learn and to grow through dialogue. In the worst case scenario which is thankfully rare, this community has been tolerant of people who misjudged their responses and then later regreted them. The push back may be uncomfortably strong at the time, but people move on which is good.

  • in reply to Take5

    I'm so pleased you didn't delete this message. I do the type and delete thing too, so it's good to know I'm not the only one. 

    I think the response from has really good advice. We should try to believe in our own voice. I think like you we could try this in small amounts and see what happens.

    Yes you can give me a compliment and I can accept it with thanks!! It feels strange though, but nice.

    (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠Heart

  • in reply to Take5

    But what of those things left unsaid? Gone forever. You end up just conversing with yourself if you never press send.

    It is part of masking in my opinion. You predict what others will say, then modify what you want to say. In small measure this is normal to avoid unnecessary offence, but if it silences you it is stifling. I think it is an overactive fear response, fear of the unknown, which is worse the more imagination you have.

    In truth, you can't know what other people will think. The best way to find out is to press send. If your intentions were good you can always explain and people will come round, even if they might be confused to start with. Trust your judgement. It is as valid as anyone else's, often more so because more thought has gone into it.

    But what if not everyone agrees? Some will, some won't. Does it really matter? Do you agree with everything other people say? It is normal. This is the greatest challenge, to believe in your own voice.

    Dialogue is how people learn and refine their ideas.