• Replies 39 replies
  • Subscribers 12 subscribers
  • Views 885 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

Feeling overwhelmed when reaching out, does anyone else experience this?

Lonehare12

I wanted to ask about something I noticed recently about myself.

When I tried to PM someone to thank them for their efforts supporting people here, I felt a really awful, physical feeling in my body, almost dread. I think it might be related to RSD or sensitivity around showing vulnerability.

It felt like because of all the unknowns around it, the uncertainty of it all, I nearly talked myself out of it.

Is this because of my AUDHD or are NT people like this too.

I wonder if others experience something similar?

How do you manage it, and does it help to try small steps, like sending a message or accepting compliments?

Parents

  • It's fear of the unknown. In the real world you can see people, you can watch them and maybe guess if it will be well received.

    Online you don't really know people. You can get an idea from their writing, but people can also adopt online personas and mask there too.

    So sending a message is hard.

    Part of it may be because you think the worst. But this is unlikely. You can help yourself by also trying to think of the best case, or even a middle case.

    It gets easier with practice. This is the only cure, to train your brain that it is not scary really. Each time it works it weakens the fear. Most people are reasonable. And if the odd person isn't it is unlikely to be your fault if you are thoughtful.

    It does get easier :)

Reply

  • It's fear of the unknown. In the real world you can see people, you can watch them and maybe guess if it will be well received.

    Online you don't really know people. You can get an idea from their writing, but people can also adopt online personas and mask there too.

    So sending a message is hard.

    Part of it may be because you think the worst. But this is unlikely. You can help yourself by also trying to think of the best case, or even a middle case.

    It gets easier with practice. This is the only cure, to train your brain that it is not scary really. Each time it works it weakens the fear. Most people are reasonable. And if the odd person isn't it is unlikely to be your fault if you are thoughtful.

    It does get easier :)

Children