I’m just feeling a bit confused and lost at the moment. I’m 26 (nearly 27) and I’m feeling a bit down in the dumps. I currently don’t have any kind of social life and I’m desperately trying to keep boredom and frustration away. Sometimes it’s awful and I’m genuinely bored to tears with my own company. I know I’m not the only one who struggles with this. Far from it. I just feel like I’ve missed out on so much of my 20s that I’m never going to get back. I’m feeling paralysed when it comes to making friends and connections. Because I found out that everyone I knew at college has their own life now, and I’m so behind in even beginning my own. And now I don’t know where to actually begin…
I recently tried reaching out to the social prescriber who works with my GP surgery. She suggested some things I can try such as wellbeing walks, a reading group and arts & craft, but I just…don’t know? It just feels like a lot of filler things once a month. I suppose it’s better than nothing, but I‘m terrified that it’s just going to turn into a big disappointment for me. What if the people don’t accept me or understand, especially seeing as I’ve also developed a voice condition this year. This has definitely made things even harder when it comes to actually talking to people without feeling even more shy and self-conscious. It’s dented my self-esteem in a big way, and it wasn’t great to begin with. Now being laughed at for not being able to talk or communicate well has just made me feel like giving up despite all the voice therapy which unfortunately doesn’t feel like it’s working as it keeps getting cancelled and stalling.
I’m also worried that there will be no one else my age at these groups and I’ll be the odd one out because I have absolutely nothing in common with older people? I’ve experienced this in the past and it just destroys me. I want to date and do normal things at my age and trying to make an effort, but I don’t see any kind of opening for this. I know I’m not owed anything, but..I just want to be happy. Loneliness is just…very heavy sometimes, because there’s never really been anything mentally stimulating for me to do, no one to talk to or build a friendship with. Since leaving college, everyone I knew has drifted, and I have nowhere to go. It’s worse seeing people doing exciting things and going on holidays together. I feel like something has gone wrong with me.
I just have so many questions, and no answers. I don’t know if I’m just stuck in a rut feeling sorry for myself because so much has gone wrong this year, but I find it so difficult walking about town alone every day with no one to talk to. I don’t know how this is meant to get better?
She suggested some things I can try such as wellbeing walks, a reading group and arts & craft, but I just…don’t know? It just feels like a lot of filler things once a month.
Thats what socialising largely is - filler. It is also contact with others and a chance to feel involved with their lives in a way.
I would suggest giving it a try and if you really don't enjoy any of it then at least you can be happier on your own.
I suppose it’s better than nothing, but I‘m terrified that it’s just going to turn into a big disappointment for me.
If you are dissapointed then don't do it again. I don't think you benefit from being terrified of taking the chance.
In reality, what is the risk? You may not engage with others and choose to stay on the edges of the conversations. No loss.
They may choose not to involve you. No loss.
The chances of things being difficult are very slim and will depend on how you interact with them. In all probability if you are respectful then they will be too.
I’ll be the odd one out because I have absolutely nothing in common with older people?
They are people. Forget the old bit - they have had a similar life experience for most things to you but probably with a different perspective and if they are going on a wellbeing walk then chances are they are looking for a connection too.
Think of subjects that everyone can share - what food do you like, what is happening in the community / town, is the country going down the toilet etc - there are likely to be loads you can talk about.
What are your special interests? You can sometimes shape these into talking points.
She suggested some things I can try such as wellbeing walks, a reading group and arts & craft, but I just…don’t know? It just feels like a lot of filler things once a month.
Thats what socialising largely is - filler. It is also contact with others and a chance to feel involved with their lives in a way.
I would suggest giving it a try and if you really don't enjoy any of it then at least you can be happier on your own.
I suppose it’s better than nothing, but I‘m terrified that it’s just going to turn into a big disappointment for me.
If you are dissapointed then don't do it again. I don't think you benefit from being terrified of taking the chance.
In reality, what is the risk? You may not engage with others and choose to stay on the edges of the conversations. No loss.
They may choose not to involve you. No loss.
The chances of things being difficult are very slim and will depend on how you interact with them. In all probability if you are respectful then they will be too.
I’ll be the odd one out because I have absolutely nothing in common with older people?
They are people. Forget the old bit - they have had a similar life experience for most things to you but probably with a different perspective and if they are going on a wellbeing walk then chances are they are looking for a connection too.
Think of subjects that everyone can share - what food do you like, what is happening in the community / town, is the country going down the toilet etc - there are likely to be loads you can talk about.
What are your special interests? You can sometimes shape these into talking points.
