Life After Parents

Yesterday, I learned that my dad has lung cancer, and that the doctors said there's nothing that can be done about it at this point. They're giving him immuno-suppressants or something so that he'll hopefully have at least another two years.

I thought he'd have more time. He'd already been through so much having just undergone radiotherapy to treat throat cancer. It really looked like he was getting better.

It's too cruel.

I've been dreading the day I'll have to go on without my parents. I tried living independently for two years, but it ended in disaster due to an unsympathetic flatmate. I stress at the thought of having to support myself, as I fear I have rendered myself basically unemployable. I have no relevant qualifications, I'm prone to meltdowns and shutdowns and autistic burnout and I struggle to cope socially.

I honestly fear I'll end up homeless. My mum wants me to sell the house when both of my parents are gone and split the money with my sister, but there's no way I'll be able to get my own place, not in this day and age. It's just too expensive to live these days.

I'm sorry... My dad's dying and I'm making this all about me, but my dad's news has set me off down a spiral of fear of what I will have to go through.

Point is, I don't know what to do. I can't function as an adult.

Parents
  • I live independently with my adult son, but when my dad was diagnosed with treatable cancer in 2019, which quickly progressed to being terminal, I went into panic-mode and was terrified of how I would cope after his death. Although my situation was different to the one you now find yourself in, I can relate to some of the things you have said in your post.

    Your thoughts and fears are perfectly understandable and "normal". Please do not feel you have to apologise for having legitimate concerns about your future.

    I see that Iain has offered you some suggestions. As I cannot think of any additional suggestions, I will end by saying that my thoughts are with you and your family.

Reply
  • I live independently with my adult son, but when my dad was diagnosed with treatable cancer in 2019, which quickly progressed to being terminal, I went into panic-mode and was terrified of how I would cope after his death. Although my situation was different to the one you now find yourself in, I can relate to some of the things you have said in your post.

    Your thoughts and fears are perfectly understandable and "normal". Please do not feel you have to apologise for having legitimate concerns about your future.

    I see that Iain has offered you some suggestions. As I cannot think of any additional suggestions, I will end by saying that my thoughts are with you and your family.

Children
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