I am going through a very difficult time right now.
A month ago I decided to come off my antidepressants after eleven years - I was feeling terrible experiencing the side effects but none of the benefits. I suspect it was autistic burnout rather than depression, though I honestly would be hard-pressed to tell the difference. A couple of weeks after I reduced my dose, I found I had serious pain in my leg, to the point it was agony just to walk. A week and two hospital trips later, I was diagnosed as having blood clots in the superficial vein in my leg, and prescribed blood thinners.
Ever since, my anxiety has been through the roof. Every slight ache, every itch, has me on edge. I have always had problems with being extra-sensitive to what's going on in my body, and right now I feel so fragile, like the slightest knock could make me break completely. The uncertainty surrounding whether this treatment is working is not helping matters at all, making me feel extremely vulnerable.
All I want to do is hide and cry.
I don't know what to do. I have no access to therapy in this area, and I don't think there's anything more the doctors can do for me.
I feel like the victim of some kind of unholy convergence, where everything is going wrong at once, and I can't see a way out.
Sorry that my first post here is basically a whinge, but I feel like I need to talk to others who may understand where I'm coming from, because it certainly doesn't feel like the medical industry does.
