Hi all,
Hoping I can get some help please.
I really can't stand working but have no choice in order to keep a house and live. I've been in many different jobs and always struggle, usually ending up being sacked. The job I managed to do best was straightforward and generally low stress but it meant it was easy to outsource which is what happened.
Since then I did 3 more jobs and the first I forgot something one day which I didn’t know was as important as it was and they got rid of me just before the 12 months was up
The next one something was done badly and I pointed out it was a colleague who was wrong but they took his side and as I like things to be done accurately and he was their drinking buddy I was out the door after a few months as there was no permanent role for me.
The next one I found the job really hard and someone else picked up the easy work and I ended up with the difficult jobs to do and had to keep asking for help so they got rid of me again after a few months.
I then had to accept anything and have been stuck in a role which I find difficult and confusing which also involves having to answer the phone a lot which I find very stressful and has led to me not wanting to talk on the phone outside of work and damaged communication with my family too.
The sound of the phone ringing makes me cringe and I feel so depressed on a Sunday night before work thinking about another difficult confusing day with not much in the way of support from anyone.
I get barely any praise at all for doing things right and just told off when I do something wrong and it's usually something I didn't know I was meant to do.
I'm on a lower than the bottom end of the scale salary for what I do and feel I just have to tolerate it to be able to pay the bills. I'm too scared to go elsewhere due to the bad experiences and I'm shunned as I like to be on my own and away from work colleagues as being with them in the office stresses me out with the noise and busy environment and I try desperately to avoid work nights out.
As a result I am not the favourite and feel like I am getting paid less because of that.
The job also stresses me out as I'm not sure what to do a lot of the time and things aren't clear at all. There are certain relaxed rules with the job but without a clear structure of what I should be doing it causes me a lot of stress.
I'm also terrified of talking to management about things or expressing my concerns as I don't want to rock the boat either so I just suffer in silence.
I struggle with common sense too which makes things difficult as people would be like "why did you do that?" Or "why didn't you think of doing that?" And I really didn't know I was expected to do something.
Work isn't just bringing me down it is causing me to get moody and irritable with people close to me and causing a breakdown in my relationship as I'm so moody and irritable because of work.
I also find interacting with colleagues very uncomfortable and difficult and it often results in confrontations and I have reacted strongly and shouted at colleagues before. I have also discovered colleagues saying things about me or mocking me behind my back too.
