• Replies 5 replies
  • Subscribers 7 subscribers
  • Views 253 views
  • Users 0 members are here
Options
Related
Hints and tips
  • To quote someone's message, first select/highlight the relevant text, and then use the Quote button that appears
  • To "mention" someone, type @ followed by the start of the forum name, and choose from the list; that person will get a notification of being mentioned

NHS Therapy struggles

Stevie

I’ve spent years masking, forcing eye contact, small talk, pretending I’m fine. Now CBT asks me to notice thoughts, change behaviour, practise responses. Even though they try to adapt it, it still feels like “act normal”, which for me = mask again. I'm struggling to understanding what they want me to do.

The scripts are hard to remember, my memory’s worse, and concentration’s gone. Instead of helping, therapy just makes me panic. They’re now talking about referring me to step 3.

Has anyone else been through this?

  • I have had several attempts at CBT, although not tailored for an autistic person as this has only been identified relatively recently, and I had very little success. Interestingly I've found that several NT friends also found it a "waste of time".


    For me it opened up more issues than it solved. First it felt like I was trying to lie to myself, and secondly brought up the question of who am I. Thirdly much of the focus for me was my perfectionism, so I was steered toward trying to settle for "good enough". This caused me so much distress that I had to stop the therapy. Having thought about it at length, I discovered that my perfectionism was not driven by worrying about how other were perceiving me and more by a warm feeling when things are just so and almost a mental itch when things weren't. This was true whether it was something I had produced, or something produced by others.

  • in reply to Iain

    I’m not sure I could wait for an ADHD diagnosis, but I do have executive functioning problems that make therapy tasks difficult. That’s probably part of why I panic and can’t keep up.

  • in reply to Expecto_Patronum

    Thanks, that’s helpful to hear. They are trying to adapt it for me, but I still end up panicking and feeling pushed back into masking. I’ll make sure I raise that directly before they move me to step 3.

  • Stevie said:
    Now CBT asks me to notice thoughts
    Stevie said:
    Even though they try to adapt it,

    Do you know if the CBT has been adapted to suit autists rather than just for your situation? This is an important adaptation and if it isn't working then you need to explain to them what the issues are otherwise it will be a waste of time or worse - will negativly impact your mental health.

    Try to articulate your struggles to the therapist - take the mask off and explain to them how if feels when you try to do it - they cannot help if you pretend and "muddle on through". It isn't easy but it is probably the only way for them to help you.

    I am assuming you are autistic (since you are writing your post on an autistic forum) but could you also be ADHD? This can impact the ability to remember and focus on these tasks and may require a further change to CBT for best effect.

    Good luck as this unmasking and telling someone their therapy isn't working can be difficult for us.

  • Yes I've had issues with NHS therapy. CBT is not suitable for neurodivergency unless it is adapted so I would take it with a pinch of salt. I'm not 100% sure what step 3 would offer you because for me step 3 was high intensity CBT. I would raise the issue of your neurodivergency and that CBT isn't suitable for your needs unless it's done by an expert in adapted CBT. I wouldn't let them push you into a life of masking. In the long run it only makes mental health worse.