Hi everyone, I’m posting here because I’m feeling very overwhelmed and worried about my son, Joshua (20). He’s autistic, has ADHD, and although professionals say he has capacity, he’s very vulnerable. I’m hoping other parents or autistic adults might have advice, reassurance, or ideas about keeping him safe while respecting his independence.
Some background:
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He has depression, health anxiety, and a lot of rumination.
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History of bullying and trauma (he was sexually assaulted at age 11, which was reported at the time).
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He struggles with self-esteem and often wants to “not be himself.”
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He has an appointment booked with a psychiatric doctor on 1st September, which I’m really hoping will help, but I’m worried about keeping him safe until then.
What’s worrying me right now:
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He’s been drawn into online hypnosis and believes it “broke his brain.” He talks about “wires in his head being crushed” and is convinced he has brain damage, even though scans are normal.
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Since then, he says he can’t think clearly, can’t enjoy things, and wants others to “think for him.”
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He’s been talking to older men online who sexualise him and encourage him to call them things like “Sir” or “Daddy.” He’s also described himself online as an “online ***.”
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I’m terrified he’s being groomed or exploited.
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Restricting his phone feels dangerous (he might leave home if I push too hard), but letting him continue feels unsafe too.
My concerns as his mum:
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He’s so trusting and vulnerable — I worry he can’t see the risks.
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Direct confrontation makes him hide things from me.
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He is fixated on these ideas about his brain being broken, which makes it hard for him to function day to day.
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I’m scared for his safety and unsure how to support him until better treatment and safeguarding are in place.
What I’m asking the community:
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Has anyone else supported an autistic young adult in a similar situation?
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How do you balance safety with respecting independence, especially online?
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What has helped your child (or yourself, if you’ve been through something similar) when obsessional thoughts and vulnerability made life feel unmanageable?
Thank you for reading this — I just want to keep Joshua safe while also helping him feel understood and supported. Any advice or shared experiences would mean a lot. 
