Autism and co-morbid conditions

Hello. It will take time.

You have been struggling, thinking you are normal but wondering why things were hard, now you know. This is a bit of dent to your confidence but it will come back. It is also a challenge as it you are not sure if you know who you are, but this will also come. You can figure out what you like, one thing at a time. You can find your values, what you believe in. You can establish some foundations then start on the details. There are some things you know are true.

You won't solve everything in one go. It might be helpful to think about that your biggest issues are now, and start there.

You might also like to look for autistic accommodations. There are videos on YouTube with many suggestions, some may help.

I expect you may also need some therapy or professional help.

Hi, thank you for your input. Getting to know myself is something I know I need to work on. Existing while feeling I am lacking identity has been something I have experienced since childhood. 

Therapy is something I have been asking for from my CMHT (for the ptsd and possible eupd)

I genuinely feel like what you have said could be very helpful, thank you 

Hi, thank you for your input. Getting to know myself is something I know I need to work on. Existing while feeling I am lacking identity has been something I have experienced since childhood. 

Therapy is something I have been asking for from my CMHT (for the ptsd and possible eupd)

I genuinely feel like what you have said could be very helpful, thank you 

Sudden mood shifts can also be down to depression. Things that seem to come out of the blue may be because you miss the signs of them building.

It takes time. Knowledge is power.

You can't control what you don't understand 

That provides a very interesting and insightful perspective. I hadn’t even thought about patterns and effects of things like that. Thank you so much for sharing that!

I know certain environments do trigger me and cause flashbacks or anxiety induced panic attacks. I tend to avoid them as much as possible. 

Definitely experience mood shifts which can be very sudden and unpredictable. It has caused me to blow up at people before and then I feel like a truly terrible person.

I do agree about being out of touch with how I feel vs what my reality is. Think part of that is as you said because of masking for so long. The only thing I have figured out so far is to do with my core personality. I want to be a kind and compassionate person rather than the alternative.

You have given me a bit to think about, thank you 

I think the problem with a later diagnosis is you will almost certainly have masked to some extent to fit in. You may be a bit out of touch with how you feel from learning to ignore or override it.

Try to note how you really feel, what things make you feel different. It is not good or bad, just info. You can then look for patterns. 

Your emotions are the way your body flags things that may be important to you, although it can be mistaken which takes some training to realign.

Your moods may also change.

It could be helpful to write things down.

Sleep is important, so do what you can to improve it. Try to avoid stimulants for a while, nicotine, caffeine, alcohol, till you are sure what effects they have.

Beyond the short term too. If I drink 2 pints of beer say, I feel better while I drink it, get to sleep easier, don't sleep as well, but feel more emotional the following afternoon, which I have only just realised. This link, even in modest quantities to how I feel 24 hrs later was unexpected. Dehydration, or some foods could do the same thing. Some sounds or environments may be harder. You get the idea.