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Dealing with RSD?

Dee-Dee

Hi there, 

Haven't posted on here in a long time - sorry! 

Was just wondering if people have tips for rejection sensitivity? I used to be very close to my friends but recently I've felt very left out as they've met up and been talking without me and our group chats / private messages are pretty quiet even when I try to start a conversation. I know logically it's nothing to stress about but I keep feeling really sad and like I don't matter to them anymore / they don't like me and they just don't want to hurt my feelings. Any advice on how to deal with this / what to do when it kicks in to avoid falling into slump after slump?

Thank you, 

Dee Dee

  • Dee-Dee said:
    Was just wondering if people have tips for rejection sensitivity?

    I found mindfulness worked very well. 

    I use it to mind map situations where I think I am being rejected and try to capture the possibilities that could be happening and give them a value of how likely they are.

    In the end i use Occams Razor (Occam's razor is a principle that suggests when faced with competing explanations for the same phenomenon, the simplest one, which makes the fewest assumptions, is usually the best choice) to work out the most likely answer and after I have done this a few dozen times I start to realise my fears are almost certainly groundless so start to have more trust.

    If people don't want me there for some reason then this is also a valid choice - I don't always want them around when doing something so it really is no big geal.

  • My tip for RSD: Own it. Keep telling yourself that this is all in your head, you are probably not being rejected, your brain is doing this to you, the intensity of emotion is due to your divergent brain wiring, it will take a lot longer to subside than you would like, this isn't the first time and it won't be the last, and none of this is your fault. Breathe. Go somewhere quiet. You'll feel better in about three days (well, that's how long it takes me to regulate).

    I think it is important not to allow RSD to become toxic by blaming other people for it. What can we do except talk ourselves through it as best we can and accept that it is not a true reflection of objective reality.