Stressing over first job interview

Hey Pru, how did it go?

Stuart333 said:

You don't have to be perfect. So don't beat yourself up it something does not go quite right.

Stuart333 highlights a super point - the good news is that the interviewer is not a mind reader - so, if it seemed to you that something didn't go quite right; you don't need to unnecessarily draw their attention to it (you may be more critical about it than the interviewer ...as you are the person in the room who knows what you might have said if it went "perfectly").

After all, if they wanted a computer to do the job; they would have already bought one.  Instead, they have chosen to meet you in an interview about the job (not a "perfect" computer).

Remember to breathe.

In my first interview I was so nervous I would breathe in, say a few words, breath in some more, say a bit more, then breathe in and found I was struggling.

I paused, breathed out and back in a couple of times and calmed down. You don't need full lungs to talk.

It is ok to pause before answering. If you need time to think, you can repeat the question to delay a bit more.

If you don't know something don't worry, just say you don't know. But if you can you can say I would guess the answer is this. It shows you know your limits but are willing to try. You could also suggest how you would find the answer, ask the manager, look it up, it shows initiative.

A good interviewer will try to put you at ease, they want you to talk so they can judge if you are ok.

It is good to be a bit nervous and they expect that. If you are totally not nervous it looks like you don't care.

Make sure you know where it is and allow enough time. Get there a bit early. Don't put yourself under pressure.

You don't have to be perfect. So don't beat yourself up it something does not go quite right. I know someone who walked into a pond before an interview, they did ok.

View it as a learning experience and if you get the job it will be a bonus. This will put less pressure on you.

Good luck.

Hi Pru,

They have already noticed something of interest to them about what you could offer their organisation - hence, the interview invitation - to help give both you and their team the opportunity to find out a bit more about each other. 

It is good if both sides (interviewer / interviewee) can try to relax enough to enjoy meeting one another.  (It can be that an interviewer might be a little anxious / nervous / hot dealing with the Summer weather too - everyone can remain professional ...yet, still be human too!).

When I prepare to attend an interview, I try to write three things on my notebook before I attend (so I can refer to them in the interview:

1) Sometimes, in our eagerness to "do well" and impress people at an interview; we can forget to ensure we remember things we could say which help to highlight why we are passionate about the role for which we applied. 

You could make a short sentence note on your notebook to remind yourself: what you would like the interviewer to appreciate about that passion for the role.  (Why you want this role).

2) Maybe, is there another note-to-self-reminder; short sentence you could write down - in case you are asked about your ambition within their organisation if you were to be offered this role?  (It could be a chance for you to share with the interview a couple of short examples of what you have found out about their organisation which attracted your interest).

3) Is there an important (to you) question you would like to find out about when you meet the interviewer?  (Maybe something you have wondered about - when you were imagining what working there might like?).

I do just mean: 3 short "bullet points" to keep you on track in the interview.

Even though you are anticipating the interview tomorrow, try and give yourself some relaxation time this evening and do your best to get some good rest ready for tomorrow.

Maybe it would help you to log off from online at bit earlier than usual this evening to just enjoy some time with much loved music (as you try and wind-down the anticipation level, at least for a while, this evening).

Best wishes.

Thanks, I'll try to remember to do that. I'm going to try not to answer too quickly either as that might make me panic answer. If I take my time, not too long, but enough that it gives me time to answer smoothly and calmly.

Hi Iain. A big thank you for all your helpful tips you've given me. Sorry I couldn't reply sooner. I'm really grateful to you for all your help with this, it's greatly appreciated, especially the tips for keeping cool. This has always been a major problem for me all my life so your tips on staying cool have helped to reduce my anxiety.

Though I'm genuinely grateful for all of your help with this. 

I'm keeping everything crossed that I'll be ok tomorrow and the anxiety won't be too bad and the interview will go well.

I'll try to be myself and I will try to remember all of yours and profdanger 's helpful tips.

Thank you both so much. It means a lot to me.

Pru x.

Iain said:

Another thing you may get asked is how you see your autism affecting your work. If this is asked, think about the positives - your ability to hyperfocus, organisational skills, your meticulous nature or whatever - make it a selling point if you can and don't bring up the negatives.

Oh, great advice! Yes, if they ask you anything remotely similar to this or “What are your weaknesses?” always try to put a positive spin on it. 

I find it helps to understand the process the hiring team are going through so you can see how you fit into the situation - knowledge being power and all that.

The team are trying to find the best candidate for the job - this will be something they are instructed to do by the Human Resources team and there are a bunch of details they have to gather to be able to prove they have done this without bias of favouratism.

There will be competition but don't let that make you nervous as most lower level jobs will be offered to the person the team see as the best fit for the role AND for later on as you grow within the company. What this means in reality is that if you "feel right" as a fit into the existing team then they can easily overlook lesser qualifications or even disabilities so long as it won't prevent you from doing the job.

For practical advice I would think about questions that will probably be asked such as "tell us about you" - this floored loads of poeple I have interviewed in the past but this wasn't an issue - it was how they recovered, asked questions about what it meant and then built an answer with this additional info.

If you have a familiy member of adult friend who has any experience with interviewing, ask them if they can help you role play the interview so you can build up an understanding of what it will be like. Styles vary considerably depending on the person interviewing you or the type of role so I would expect it to me more of a chat than an interrogation for your role.

Think about what you have achieved - if you have volunteered or done charity work then these are great to talk about (they show initiative and compassion), think of any projects you have done at home (redesigning the garden layout for a more efficient veg crop for example - scour your last few years for situations that can show any of the sorts of skills you will need in the role and be ready to talk about them.

Another thing you may get asked is how you see your autism affecting your work. If this is asked, think about the positives - your ability to hyperfocus, organisational skills, your meticulous nature or whatever - make it a selling point if you can and don't bring up the negatives.

Pru said:

The interview is Friday and it’s meant to be 31 degrees here then and I’m worried in case I get too hot.

Get to the place at least half an hour in advance to give yourself a chance to cool down. Consider what you can do to stay cool getting there (can someone with an air conditioned car take you for example, if you have to walk then take an umbrella to stay in the shade, take a spray of water to keep you cool, wear breathable clothes and if practical a light cardigan in case there is fierce air conditioning inside.

Take a smallish bottle of watter and sip it so you don't need to go to the bathroom but if you get there 30 mins early then use their bathroom to go and freshen yourself up, check your appearance (take tissues in case you need to dry any sweat) and psyche yourself up before going back.

I always found the wait for the interview the worst part so I would go through all my positives while waiting and remind myself again and again why I deserve the role - this typically got me into the zone for a positive interview.

Tyr to be yourself as much as you can, smile and be upbeat as this positivity will leave an impression that you are someone they want to have around in the team.

These are just my thought from someone with 2 decades of hiring experience (only one part of my job though) and plenty as interview candidate myself.

Good luck on Friday

profdanger said:

Okay, I hope I haven’t overwhelmed you with information. It really sounds like you have found yourself in a perfect first interview situation, though! I wish you best of luck; I’m rooting for you!

Thank you for all of your help with this!!! You haven't overwhelmed me at all and I am super grateful for your input with this. 

Your work sounds ideal for someone with Autism. It's the sort of thing I would like to do eventually, maybe working with children who are special needs. One step at a time though.. I need to try and secure this job yet! 

I really truly appreciate your tips. It's already made a difference because I'm feeling less anxious already so that's a good sign. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for Friday. Thank you so much for your help. I am very grateful!

Hi Pru! I think I might be able to help a little bit, since my job is helping people with disabilities find employment.

Here’s some tips:

1. Typically I would advise not to put your diagnosis on the CV, but it sounds like that worked just fine for this interview! Maybe in the future leave that off the CV and inform them in the interview if you feel comfortable. Employers have the capability to screen out applications that mention disability, even if that is illegal to do.

2. One tip I recently learned that can be a huge problem for us on the spectrum is: If the interviewer is silent between questions, don’t feel like you HAVE to fill the silence with chatter. Use the silence to take a deep breath and calm down. Interviewers sometimes add quiet into their questioning because they want to see how you deal with uncomfortable silence.

3. MOST IMPORTANTLY, keep reminding yourself that someone involved in the process said “Being Autistic is absolutely fine!” These interviewers obviously want you to succeed, they’re not trying to trip you up or make you fail. Whenever you feel overwhelmed or panicky, remind yourself of that.

4. If you do have a panic attack, just inform the interviewers and ask for a minute to calm down a bit. If that happens, you don’t have to “kiss the job goodbye.” It sounds like these folk might understand and be accommodating for that. Interviewers in general know how nerve-wracking an interview is even for a NT, so I’m certain they’ll be understanding in this case.

Okay, I hope I haven’t overwhelmed you with information. It really sounds like you have found yourself in a perfect first interview situation, though! I wish you best of luck; I’m rooting for you!