To children of parents with autism. Sorry long post..
Looking for some support / guidance on how to navigate life, my mum’s feelings and my own following this diagnosis..
For context about growing up, I’ve grown up around unhealthy routines set by my mum, e.g. only one meal a day (around midnight, same meal pattern for the week), excessive exercise (6 days a week, 3 hours each day). Around this, it’s requests for me and my dad to do jobs/favours because she doesn’t have time for them around her routines, questions on the obvious which have come across rude and patronising. In the past she has described me as a bully to family members and that I make her uncomfortable in her own home, whereas I feel as though I live around her routines and cope as much as I can.
2 years ago she was diagnosed with anxiety and OCD. She wanted to change in order to enjoy more things with me and my dad but I never seen an effort to action anything a counsellor advised. I won’t lie I wanted her to change, in my eyes she’s unhealthy and I don’t spend any time with her.
Recently, she has been given this diagnosis and waiting for formal assessment. She relayed two of my comments to a family member, again painting me as this hostile person. She also tried to make plans out of her routine last weekend when I wasn’t here making me think it’s me she doesn’t want to break routine for.
In the past we have never been able to discuss how we feel because she finds it too confrontational.
At this point I’m just drained. I feel like it’s going to be a life of treading on egg shells, watching her have these unhealthy routines. I feel like I’m selfish for thinking of how I feel because this diagnosis won't be easy for her. At the same time I’ve just broken down this weekend over everything.
