Never ending burnout

Hi Spectora, I don't know that I have any advice really but I just wanted to add too that I can relate a lot to the burnout. I'm also 27, and formally diagnosed with ASD last year - I think I've been in perpetual burnout since I was about 16. It can be really difficult to struggle with things you used to be able to do and regression has definitely at times made me feel pretty useless and ashamed.

I think the most helpful thing I've managed to do for myself is set my expectations low. I know it's difficult to truly feel a sense of achievement for managing basic things (and there's a lot of internalised shame baked in there), but practising lowering the bar for myself has helped over time. Now, it's easier to congratulate myself if I remember to eat, or take a shower. Doing this has also made it easier for myself to acknowledge how much more difficult it is for me to do basic tasks that other people do without effort. Acknowledging the struggle has helped decrease the negative self-talk spiral and has helped me advocate for myself. That being said, it doesn't solve everything and I still struggle a lot with accepting that my struggles are real and not a moral failing! But, hopefully over time, it will improve little by little and you'll gain a better understanding of your own capacity / energy levels.  

I also use a self-care app called Finch - you create daily to do lists and every time you tick something off, you fuel your own little bird pet to go off on adventures! It's very wholesome and has helped encourage me at times to manage basic needs like drinking water. You can keep your to do lists here as simple or complicated as you like, and it's free! If you like games and / or to do lists, this could be helpful. 

In regards to meditation, I don't know if it's the same for you but I hate classes. Neurotypical people like the social aspects of that, doing an activity together feels nice to them. In my case I just find it awkward and uncomfortable because I don't like doing small talk with strangers.

The good news is that meditation is something you can do entirely on your own. There are many different apps you can try to learn more about it, and once you've learned the techniques you don't even need the apps.

I use Headspace and I can recommend that. You can start with 5-10 minutes a day to get into the habit. It's all about consistency.

Good morning x.

Thank you so much for sharing your helpful tips for dealing with burnout. I’m so sorry you suffered with this so much over most of your life, that must have been awful for you at times. I’m glad you have found this community too and I hope you can find tips to help you further, and meet like-minded people.
I joined the site yesterday and have already met so many people who really "Get" it and am overwhelmed in a good way by all of the support. Suddenly things look a lot brighter than they did this time yesterday.

aeldron said:

I'm still going through a trial and error phase, but I can share some things that have been helping me

Thank you! I hope it all works for you!!
I will definitely try all from your list, I am already on a waiting list for therapy, but I don't know how long it will be. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for sooner rather than later. Immersing myself in nature is something I can try to do as well. I live in the country side and nature walks are more less on my doorstep, so if I can build up the energy this is something I might give a go.

If I take my camera I can mix photography in to this too.

Meditation is something I hear so much about - mostly Good things - and I still haven’t got round to trying this but I do feel it’s something I need to do sooner rather than later. Because of anxiety and probably the Autism I always putting things off, but then, I never end up doing them. It’s so frustrating!! Lol.
I’ve seen a lot of different meditation classes and teachings on YT so I think I need to try and choose one and then see how I get on from there.

Thanks again for all your help and support with this. I really do appreciate it all!

Have a great Sunday xx.

Hi. I'm really sorry you are struggling. I can share a bit of my own experience and I hope that might help you a little. 

I suffered from consecutive autistic burnouts all my life without knowing that this is what they were. I only got diagnosed last year, and I'm now 50. I don't want to worry you even more, but it gets worse with age because stress and anxiety can also affect your physical health. But in your case, you are still young and hopefully you can learn to manage your burnouts and find something that works for you. 

I'm still going through a trial and error phase, but I can share some things that have been helping me: 

• Alone time: as much and as often as you can possibly get
• Meditation: there is scientific evidence that meditation has huge benefits in managing stress and anxiety. The trick is, you can't just do it as and when you need it. It has to be consistent, you need do it regularly to avoid burnout, not just when your having one.
• Therapy: having someone to talk about it helps. It can help you trouble shoot certain things. But I have enough experience with therapists now to know that you can't waste your time with the wrong ones. It's a very subjective thing that happens, you need to somehow 'click' with the mental health professional, feel comfortable enough with them to be able to just let the conversation flow. If something doesn't feel quite right, don't insist. Look for somebody else.
• Nature walks: if that's your thing. It doesn't really work for me, I can't walk just for the sake of it without a goal or destination. So I've been doing city breaks instead, walking to museums, galleries, that type of thing while at the same time trying to avoid crowds. It can be tricky. 
• Change of environment. This is the trickiest one, but sometimes it is possible. It's kind of obvious, to avoid burnout, get away from the thing that causes burnout in the first place. To me, I've been considering a career change, but unfortunately I have a family to think about and I cannot just give up my job. My family is another cause of burnout, so we've agreed on regular 'time away' for me and it has been helping.

I hope that helps.

Thank you so much, you too! Hope to see you around on the forums. 

Please don’t be sorry! You have nothing to apologise for. Just knowing I’m not the only one who’s like this is a BIG help! So thank you so much for posting. I feel less alone.

Thanks! I hope you have a really nice evening

Nice to meet you too and I am sorry again I don’t have any answers. Yes, it can’t last forever! Hope you have a nice weekend.  

I'm so sorry you can relate to all this but I'm glad my post helped you. That's really nice to know! I hope you feel less alone now, reading this page and on the forum I can see so many of us actually are in this boat and many have been before. It's not forever though so hold on to that - we'll get through this!

Nice meeting you

I sadly don’t have any answers, but I am in a very similar situation and I just wanted to thank you for posting as it makes me feel less alone. I hope the resources others have posted help you, I am going to check them out too.  

I think the same when I hear her speak in videos and during podcasts. Everything she says just makes sense and I know she understands and truly gets it. Thank you for the other recommendation, I have added it to my wish list!

I feel like Dr. Neff’s writings are some of the most Autism/ADHD friendly reading material I’ve ever read. The way she formats her ideas just makes sense to me. I read her “Self-Care for Autistic People” and couldn’t recommend it more. So if you want another book after the burnout one, check that one out.

Hello Bunny. Thank you, it’s so kind of you and greatly appreciated. Thanks for the links, it will probably do me some good to revisit some of the pages as I am bound to have forgotten some of the stuff I read. Retaining the things I’ve read is a big issue for me, makes reading things like books more difficult.

Also, big thank yous for the link to Dr Megan Neff. I watch a lot of her YouTube videos and they have been such a great help to me since and before my diagnosis. She really knows her stuff and I’m glad she is out there spreading more awareness and helping people better understand what they are experiencing.

I had no idea she was an author though! Thanks for telling me about her book, I’ll be buying that ASAP!!

Enjoy your Saturday and thanks again.

Hi and welcome to the community.

Spectora said:

Lately I have been suffering what I’m pretty sure is autistic burnout and fatigue

I'm very sorry to hear that you're struggling.

In respect of resources that you might not yet have seen, there's some great (and free) advice here from Dr Megan Neff - a neurodivergent author (who's also a clinician and advocate):

Autistic Burnout Recovery: How to Build a Recovery Plan

I've also just received this new book of hers, which I'm finding to be very helpful - and refreshingly user-friendly:

The Autistic Burnout Workbook: Your Guide to Your Personal Recovery Plan

It sounds like you might have already read the strategies suggested in some or all of these NAS resources. I hope you won't mind me still popping these links here, as they might also be helpful for others who read your thread over time:

NAS - Autistic fatigue and burnout

NAS - Anxiety

NAS - Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)