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Struggling

Cre8tiveDaniel


Hello,

The feeling of being misunderstood as someone with autism by society has resurfaced affecting my mood. I was reading some benefits letters which brought up an unanswered query, triggering the following negative thoughts. The situation made me imagine that my support worker would be telling me not to be afraid to contact the benefits about any information I do not understand. I was thinking he would be asking me about how my benefits is worked out and I had to explain it. I was saying to an imaginary person that it is like roles are reversed because he should be giving me information. The made up person was expressing how that was not right.

I have took the time to challenge my thoughts and recognise that they are not accurate. However, I felt expected to comprehend the information when autistic individuals process information differently and struggle to process it particularly when it is complex. I have had experiences where I have felt that way and it made me feel misunderstood and isolated which have been painful to feel. I am aware of my strengths but I want to focus on how I am feeling.

I am not comfortable in talking to him directly because he went straight to reassurance instead of taking the time to understand how I felt when I have shared a situation with him.

Considering to share my experience brought up a memory where a member on here focussed on the other person’s intention and applied logic to my feelings. He offered solutions when I never asked for them, which made me feel invalidated. I did share this at the time but he did not acknowledge it.

 

Parents

  • I believe that often NTs will offer reassurance because to them, being reassured makes them feel reassured - it's a type of communication that can be missing in autistic people.

    I'm sorry to hear that a person on this forum made you feel invalidated. Often autistic people don't know what to say to make others feel better, so they offer practical solutions instead.

    We often are not good at understanding another's needs, so if there is something in particular we can help with, please elaborate. I hope I haven't made any assumptions, but I'm not really sure if you are asking for help or not?

Reply

  • I believe that often NTs will offer reassurance because to them, being reassured makes them feel reassured - it's a type of communication that can be missing in autistic people.

    I'm sorry to hear that a person on this forum made you feel invalidated. Often autistic people don't know what to say to make others feel better, so they offer practical solutions instead.

    We often are not good at understanding another's needs, so if there is something in particular we can help with, please elaborate. I hope I haven't made any assumptions, but I'm not really sure if you are asking for help or not?

Children
  • in reply to Lotus


    Hello  

    Thank you for reaching out. Typically, when I share my experiences, I am looking for validation and acknowledgment. Your response has already provided that, which I am grateful for. I have hesitated to directly ask for this because I have been told that it is obvious, and past experiences where my feelings were dismissed have made me less confident in expressing my need for support. My autism can make expressing my needs harder too.