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Supporting partner after meltdown

M21

I had a meltdown a few days ago during which I said some very hurtful things to my partner that I didn't mean. They are very hurt and struggling with it. I realised I'll need to be patient and reassuring with them, but I was wondering if anyone had any advice or experiences to share that would be helpful for either of us? Thanks.

  • in reply to overwhelmed & underwhelmed

    Thank you. I have seen the link, plenty of informative videos and many other resources accessible via a search engine. I was hoping for some real life experiences from those who have experienced something similar.

    Both my partner and I suspect they are autistic, but they are undiagnosed.

  • in reply to M21

    I meant...  is your partner also Autistic or not?  

    I've put the NAS link to the informative Meltdowns page in the previous answer.  Perhaps you could, in time, show this to your partner as part of an explanation.  

  • in reply to overwhelmed & underwhelmed

    Sorry. Perhaps I should have said autistic meltdown. I'm only recently diagnosed, and not really comfortable in online forums, but could really do with some support. My partner is in a great deal of distress and I would like to support them as best I can.

  • Welcome to the forum.  I am sorry to hear of your troubles.

    It would be helpful if you'd add where Autism comes in here, because otherwise the question reads like any other relationship issue.  Not wishing to be particularly blunt.  

    Clearly I don't know the details, but they say that time & space allows some healing to take place.  If you are still troubled, and think you've gone too far, and worry that you might not express yourself properly when explaining, you might try writing your thoughts down instead.  I'd be trying to explain that meltdowns are indicative of a state of mind, and not a personal attack, but you must take on board how it made your partner feel even if you couldn't help it at the time. 

    www.autism.org.uk/.../meltdowns