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I feel like I am unlovable

hypercolius

I've been looking for a relationship for 8 years now. In those years, only 2 have ever been genuinely kind to me. 

The girl I've been writing about is still here. We're close friends, she came over that Saturday to spend 7 and a half hours with me. She said that I'm the nicest guy she's ever met, and said that I was 'so sweet'. I've never heard this from anyone- nor been treated the way she does. 

I just feel like I am unlovable. I've been trying so hard, but it never works out. Not even with this girl, who currently appears to not be ready for a relationship at all. I just don't know what to do, or where to look. 

I'm just a hypersensitive autistic person who more than anything is afraid of being alone. 

It is not 'physical love' I want, not even kissing. I just want a companion who would simply be there for me when it matters. I always just wanted this. 

  • I agree with the other replies. This is GOOD news... You are definitely loved, this girls like you enough that she’s spent a lot of time with you. She isn’t ready for a relationship right now BUT she might be if you give her time. Don’t rush things, enjoy what you have now and see where it leads to.

    It sounds like she’s a really nice person to say those things and treat you so nicely. I’m really glad you have such a good friend in your life and I’ll keep my fingers crossed that you will end up with the relationship you desire. Like others said, it's easy to think of the negatives but there's a lot of positive here - you have a good friend because you're a nice person, and it might turn in to the relationship you want.

    So happy for you :0)

  • in reply to Number

    Completely agree with Number, it is easier for us to focus on negative things and overthink. When I was reading your post with your friend it sounded positive. Sounds you like have a good friend and who knows what will happen in time? A lot of romantic relationships start as good friends, mine did. Enjoy your friendship , good friends are hard to find and keep. 

  • Relax hypercolius.  Nothing that you have said above is cause for concern.....quite the opposite!  It is cause for celebration and joy!!!

    "We" (aka autistic folk) are not good at seeing the "good" in a situation......but we are (generally) in a hurry to achieve a panacea.  We are impatient and intolerant of many things.  If things don't happen quickly, we think we have done something wrong.

    Impatience CAN be our undoing.  Enjoy the moment.  Take a breath.  Read what you have written above.  It is ALL good news!!  You did good.  All is well.  You are "on the up!"  Just relax.  Allow the "other" to do their thing, in their time too.  You don't need to be in a hurry at this time.  Things are positive and progressive.  Enjoy this moment.

    Congratuations hypercolius..........this moment is a good moment!  Please try to see it that way.  You are written NOTHING to indicate anything to the contrary.

    Yours

    Number.