Turning 30 this year. Was diagonosed at 8.
My whole life I've been unable to emotionally express myself to my family and have secluded myself, I got away with it as a kid but nowdays I'm feeling a crushing guilt over having isolated myself. All my siblings grew up and got married and have great social lives. I'm the odd one out who can barely talk to anyone due to anxiety and lack of social skills. It's not that I haven't tried, I have but I just always make things awkward so I stopped trying.
I'm trying to reconnect with my family while they're dealing with loss, but I feel like I shut them out too long and they see me as someone unfeeling and non empathetic. Which couldn't be further from the truth. I've just never been able to express myself how I want to. I just want to be there for them and support them, instead of always being the one who needs supporting. I want to be helpful rather than the one who always needs help.
