Need help with anxiety

The NAS has some guidance on Anxiety which you can access here

https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/mental-health/anxiety

Personally I don't think it is sad to have a comfort bear.  I still walk around with fidget toys / cubes and I have a bear hidden away In my bag that nobody even knows about until I just confessed.   I think we do what we need to do.  

I am really sorry you feel this way, but you are far from alone, certainly in this place.  Have you spoken with your GP about anxiety?  

Thank you. That's an informatively helpful page, bookmarked it for future use.

I'm glad I'm not the only one with comfort items. I use chewllery a lot as well, find it helpful and soothing. It does hurt my jaw though so I've been trying to find other things like my bear to comfort me when I'm feeling anxious. I've seen my GP but she hasn't been able to do much, pills were ineffective sadly and I tried a talking therapy which I didn't respond to. I've now been referred to CBT which I'm hoping will help me with the anxiety.

Even a little help would go a long way. I feel I'm missing out on so much life because of anxiety.

I'd also suggest trying to find out if there's any support available locally to go with the support you've found here.

Ask your GP about social prescribing, which is essentially matching people with groups & activities that may be of benefit.  These could be ASD related, or not.  Some may involve just meeting new people, or learning new skills and hobbies. 

https://www.england.nhs.uk/personalisedcare/social-prescribing/

I think we can feel we are missing out partly because we often compare ourselves to Neurotypical people. We look at them and figure we aren't living as they are - yet we aren't wired like them.  I think there's hope and scope to craft our own paths though when we realise we have different ways of being. 

I’m so glad that you are going to look into these things Legylo - because I feel 100% sure they can’t do any harm - and in my experience you’re very likely to get at least a few helpful things from them - and possibly a lot :)     I can really relate to what you say about how struggling with anxiety can mean we miss out on lots of really good experiences and opportunities. It can also impede our judgement. The impact of it is so wide ranging, and like you I found that the doctor didn’t have anything for me that actually helped (in fact being on Cipralex was one of the worst experiences of my life). I think Thich Nhat Hanh talks are very soothing - I often put one on when I go to sleep and his voice is so calm that I usually fall asleep listening to it! I have a subscription to Audible and they have a lot of talks on there too - many of which are free (well - included in the membership fee). 
Even though I still get anxious sometimes I find that it doesn’t last so long now too - it’s as if I’ve got a better ‘recovery time’ after I have raised anxiety for any reason. 
I’m sorry that you had bad experiences as a child too. In Buddhism they talk about getting “caught” in the past, and how to free yourself from that. In fact they talk a lot about freedom in general - because when we are being overwhelmed by negative feelings we are not truly free. We need to free ourselves from the past and live in the here and now.

i understand your worries about money and benefits - for a long while I felt physically ill with worrying about all of that. My situation is a little better now - but the memories of that mean I totally understand what you mean about how stressful that can be. My heart still skips a beat when I see a brown envelope has come through the letterbox - and often I leave them for my husband to open because I can’t face them! Bad memories leave scars certainly - but life will always have some stresses because that’s almost inevitable. There are no easy answers to the stresses of dealing with the benefits system - I think it’s designed to be intimidating and to scare us. However : whatever problems we are facing it’s important to just take things day by day and not look ahead to what MIGHT happen. Because often the things we worry ourselves sick about never actually DO happen - and worrying now won’t stop them happening anyway - so achieves nothing. 

Anyway - I hope the things we’ve talked about are helpful to you - it might take some time but I’ve found them truly life changing. The change is gradual, but I’m definitely a happier person for learning these things. Good luck ! 

Legylo said:

My dad said he would for me to help him in the garden so looks like I'll be out there today...

That sounds good.  I hope it isn't too MUDDY for you 

I think I said before, you can also speak to your GP about social prescribing - perhaps not all the groups are listed at the village hall?  

Let us know how you get on.  As I say, I understand the motivation problem (been there) and I appreciate the sense of humour 

My dad said he would for me to help him in the garden so looks like I'll be out there today...I'm going to do some weeding and general tidying up.

Motivation is weird. Some days I have a little motivation and other days there's nothing, on those days I don't like to leave my bed I have to force myself to get up and actually do things. I have to go out today so I will have a look in the village hall.....see if there are any groups I might have an interest in. Something my come from that.

Thank you, I appreciate all the help you have given me.....I'll pay any medical bills, if you fall off your seat helping me XD

My dad said he would for me to help him in the garden so looks like I'll be out there today...I'm going to do some weeding and general tidying up.

Motivation is weird. Some days I have a little motivation and other days there's nothing, on those days I don't like to leave my bed I have to force myself to get up and actually do things. I have to go out today so I will have a look in the village hall.....see if there are any groups I might have an interest in. Something my come from that.

Thank you, I appreciate all the help you have given me.....I'll pay any medical bills, if you fall off your seat helping me XD

Legylo said:

My dad said he would for me to help him in the garden so looks like I'll be out there today...

That sounds good.  I hope it isn't too MUDDY for you 

I think I said before, you can also speak to your GP about social prescribing - perhaps not all the groups are listed at the village hall?  

Let us know how you get on.  As I say, I understand the motivation problem (been there) and I appreciate the sense of humour