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Thinking Of Going To A Craft Group But Unsure!

Berlusconi

I feel so alone every day. I like autism because it means I'm unique, I have a near photographic memory and I can mimic nearly every voice I hear, taste/smelll colours but I am alone. I'm not from Britain and we moved from my birthplace nearly ten years ago, I had no friends I never have anywhere but I miss the familiarity and homely feeling. I constantly feel I am trying to process moving even now but my brain can't process it. Processing is something I'm still trying to get my head round. I struggle with focusing on one thing at a time so I think everything quickly becomes too much to handle.

I like to do creative things

  • bracelet making (my fave)
  • card making
  • drawing
  • painting
  • writing

There's a craft group on Tuesday evenings that I've been thinking of doing. It's basically where people go to talk abut their interested crafts whether it's making braclets or drawing or whatever, you can take in some things you've made already if you want to.

I emailed the woman who runs it and she sent back a really nice reply.

Part of me wants to go.but my anxiety is giving me hell over it. My thoughts are all What If, you know the annoying I'm going to ruin this for you thoughts.

Has anyone here been to a craft group before? Did you enjoy it? Positive experience? I haven't been to a group before but I am interested in giving it a try. A room full of people sounds terrifying but the woman I emailed said normally there's less than twenty people who attend the group. That still sounds like a lot of people to me but I'm so sad and lonely that at this point I feel I want to at least try, otherwise I'm always on my own idling in my room and that's not the best thing for me 24 hours a day.

Parents

  • When I am planning to go somewhere new (like the group you described), if possible, in advance, I tend to try and do things like those below:

    a) really explore the information available on the website for the venue (if there is one, and use something like an internet map and Google Street View to look at the building if there is no website),

    b) visit the place in the daytime, some day ahead of time, to get a better idea of how the travel will work, what other things are nearby, which facilities are in the building or nearby,

    c) I pack a drink and a snack to take with me (so I don't need to worry about what the group tends to do if they have a coffee break),

    d) I try to remind myself that; if I want to take a break while I am there - that is fine (I would just let someone else know that I am taking a brief break and that I will return in 10 minutes),

    e) if I have done something similar myself before (I noticed you have a list of creative things you have enjoyed doing) I would take 2 or 3 examples / photos of the items - with me (so that the enthusiasm for the items and skills can be shown to the new people in the group - so the items help make my introduction - not just me having to talk about things I enjoy doing),

    f) I make myself a written "packing list" ready for attending the new group.  That way, as I think of something I would like to pack in my bag - I can make a note of it an stop worrying.  The day before thr group evening; I would tick the things on the packing list as I find them an put them in the bag I will take to the group.

    On the first evening of attending the new group, I would prefer to arrive a little early if the travel options allow that opportunity.  That way I have some extra time to find the room being used and then (hopefully) some choice about which seat location might suit me best - before all the rest of the people arrive.

    Imagining a room full of all new people can be too big a thought.  The lady said there were less than 20 people - but you don't need to worry about meeting everyone all at once on the first evening.  When I go to a new group I try to concentrate on meeting just 2 of the new people within the group each week. 

    By the way, I would be very surprised if you were the only person in the craft group who is uncomfortable about meeting lots of new people or a busy room of people.  When you have been to those evenings 2 or 3 times; I think you might find out there are naturally tables of noisier / talkative people, and other tables of people who like a quieter craft evening experience.  Over time, you have the opportunity to work out which person or people there make you feel the most welcome and OK about being there.

    I like to have a notebook and pen for taking with me to a group event.  Then as I learn something important, think of a question or something I want to find out, or have something important to remember - I can just write myself a note and stop thinking about it / worrying about forgetting the information.

    If you have an annoying anxiety thought - you could write it in the back pages of that notebook and stop thinking about for a few days.  Then another day; you could have another look at the list of annoying worries and see: a) if you still feel the same way, or b) since you wrote it in your list - have you now thought of a good idea about how you could stop that thing being a problem anyway (or is it something which no longer worries you any more).

    These are just my ideas which suit me, you might not like some of my ideas, but I hope they might help you to have some more ideas of your own (about how to enjoy a new group of people in your way).

    Maybe it is time to try sharing the "unique creative you" with those other people at the craft group.

Reply

  • When I am planning to go somewhere new (like the group you described), if possible, in advance, I tend to try and do things like those below:

    a) really explore the information available on the website for the venue (if there is one, and use something like an internet map and Google Street View to look at the building if there is no website),

    b) visit the place in the daytime, some day ahead of time, to get a better idea of how the travel will work, what other things are nearby, which facilities are in the building or nearby,

    c) I pack a drink and a snack to take with me (so I don't need to worry about what the group tends to do if they have a coffee break),

    d) I try to remind myself that; if I want to take a break while I am there - that is fine (I would just let someone else know that I am taking a brief break and that I will return in 10 minutes),

    e) if I have done something similar myself before (I noticed you have a list of creative things you have enjoyed doing) I would take 2 or 3 examples / photos of the items - with me (so that the enthusiasm for the items and skills can be shown to the new people in the group - so the items help make my introduction - not just me having to talk about things I enjoy doing),

    f) I make myself a written "packing list" ready for attending the new group.  That way, as I think of something I would like to pack in my bag - I can make a note of it an stop worrying.  The day before thr group evening; I would tick the things on the packing list as I find them an put them in the bag I will take to the group.

    On the first evening of attending the new group, I would prefer to arrive a little early if the travel options allow that opportunity.  That way I have some extra time to find the room being used and then (hopefully) some choice about which seat location might suit me best - before all the rest of the people arrive.

    Imagining a room full of all new people can be too big a thought.  The lady said there were less than 20 people - but you don't need to worry about meeting everyone all at once on the first evening.  When I go to a new group I try to concentrate on meeting just 2 of the new people within the group each week. 

    By the way, I would be very surprised if you were the only person in the craft group who is uncomfortable about meeting lots of new people or a busy room of people.  When you have been to those evenings 2 or 3 times; I think you might find out there are naturally tables of noisier / talkative people, and other tables of people who like a quieter craft evening experience.  Over time, you have the opportunity to work out which person or people there make you feel the most welcome and OK about being there.

    I like to have a notebook and pen for taking with me to a group event.  Then as I learn something important, think of a question or something I want to find out, or have something important to remember - I can just write myself a note and stop thinking about it / worrying about forgetting the information.

    If you have an annoying anxiety thought - you could write it in the back pages of that notebook and stop thinking about for a few days.  Then another day; you could have another look at the list of annoying worries and see: a) if you still feel the same way, or b) since you wrote it in your list - have you now thought of a good idea about how you could stop that thing being a problem anyway (or is it something which no longer worries you any more).

    These are just my ideas which suit me, you might not like some of my ideas, but I hope they might help you to have some more ideas of your own (about how to enjoy a new group of people in your way).

    Maybe it is time to try sharing the "unique creative you" with those other people at the craft group.

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