Monthly burnout

Hi Lisa,

My son is 21, ASD I've being going through this for the last 3 years now, definitely got worse through puberty.  He is on anti depressants and medication to help with agitation.  He was in college and had so much time off through bouts of going for 2 weeks 100% engaged when there then 3 weeks off with complete withdrawal doesn't engage with friends answer calls or texts just stops.  Then I say it's like a light switch flicks off then just flicks back on out of nowhere and starts doing things again.   I have taken him out of college as he was missing so much work.  I have started him in an informal educational course 4 days week which again he loves when there and gives his all but then just stops again.  We have tried just doing 3 days but nothing changes these burnouts still happen and I have no idea how to make them better.  If I try and encourage or even talk to him about going back as good for him he gets angry when low mood. I like you worry about his future and how he will manage.  I would like to give you better help but I'm still trying to find help as well.  

Hi Lisa, it’s a terrible situation isn’t it, such a worry when all you want is for them to be happy but very difficult when you know the next burnout is just around the corner.

The same for us, we withdrew him from school for 2 months but the episodes still happened.

Everything you mention is the same for my son, even the mental health team couldn’t believe how different he was once he’d come out of the other end.

I do wonder if it’s also linked to hormones, I’m certainly praying it is and that in time they will either grow out of it or learn to manage and push through.

I’m not sure about you but I’ve found there is absolutely no help available for these young adults, unless it hits crisis point which is such a shame.

I really appreciate your comment, just knowing there are other parents going through something similar gives me a little hope there might be an answer out there.

From one worried mum to another

Hi Lisa, 

It really is very hard on them and whole family puts immense strain on everyone and myself as his main carer and the one who is his whole world but also takes the brunt of the anger, and you feel very alone like you can do nothing right. 

My son also has learning difficulties so mentally and academically is nowhere near his age makes things very hard also.  Your advocating for them all the time, struggling to get help, filling in forms having assessments and the people who are supposed to help don't seem to do there jobs,  never reply,  take months to do anything and as you say things then hit crisis point but it should not be that way.

I had assessments for social care help got some respite but he went once hated it never went again so that didn't work. We've tried talking about supported living but no where near ready for that. I'm now trying to see about getting a buddy someone else apart from me to take him out but again paperwork, fighting to get help and takes forever.  

Hopefully, things will improve and these sort of long periods of burnout gets more recognised.  Like you I'm hoping hormones and things might settle.

For us also we plan things for him to do with his club as they have  to be booked i.e bowling activities, youth group which he loves doing which is all well and good but in reality we living on eggshells as we know any moment he will just stop again so it's becoming increasingly more difficult to do.

I wish you all the best with your son, and nice talking to someone else going through this.

Hi Lisa, 

It really is very hard on them and whole family puts immense strain on everyone and myself as his main carer and the one who is his whole world but also takes the brunt of the anger, and you feel very alone like you can do nothing right. 

My son also has learning difficulties so mentally and academically is nowhere near his age makes things very hard also.  Your advocating for them all the time, struggling to get help, filling in forms having assessments and the people who are supposed to help don't seem to do there jobs,  never reply,  take months to do anything and as you say things then hit crisis point but it should not be that way.

I had assessments for social care help got some respite but he went once hated it never went again so that didn't work. We've tried talking about supported living but no where near ready for that. I'm now trying to see about getting a buddy someone else apart from me to take him out but again paperwork, fighting to get help and takes forever.  

Hopefully, things will improve and these sort of long periods of burnout gets more recognised.  Like you I'm hoping hormones and things might settle.

For us also we plan things for him to do with his club as they have  to be booked i.e bowling activities, youth group which he loves doing which is all well and good but in reality we living on eggshells as we know any moment he will just stop again so it's becoming increasingly more difficult to do.

I wish you all the best with your son, and nice talking to someone else going through this.