Monthly burnout

As an adult I want to offer my perspective. I have been through a huge burnout but I also experience these frequent bouts and undulations as I am finding my way through living with the effects. My experience is that, quite often "our sort" can be all or nothing types. It's very hard to change this aspect, when what really needs to happen is pacing, planning and prioritising of life (which is what official guidance probably says). This can be difficult when you have difficulty with foresight. 

It might be that after resting, your son suddenly has the energy, goes like the clappers (because there are things he couldn't or didn't want to do a few weeks previously and wants to make up for it, or there are things he feels he "should" be doing) then crashes out. I get help by way of reminders from those closest to me, ("is that a good idea?") but it has taken a few years to work out what contributes to accumulation (and it isn't always obvious). It also takes listening and trusting those around me on my part. Another thing which is difficult when you want to do your own thing and think you know best! 

I think what I'm trying to say is, if you can have some sort of dialogue with your son, or awareness of what contributes to these episodes, maybe gentle reminders can be given to pace which may help slightly smooth out the up and down aspect. I am reminded during my "activity" phases not to over do it. But I still do. I have to think hard and be reminded of the consequences if I were to overdo it. Often this can be unintentional and its only looking back do I understand why I crashed, but I try and "bank" this as a reminder. Then there's learning to be kind to yourself and knowing what you need to do (or being reminded of this also) when the crash inevitably comes. It is frustrating, especially when you don't understand the causes and I should imagine for an 18 year old lad, even more so.

I have come to the conclusion this boom & bust aspect is part of my life and while I do have strategies in place,  there's also an acceptance "this is how I am". However I am not a teenage boy but a grown adult and its taken quite a few years of self reflection and help from those around me to get to this stage of understanding. 

I've no idea if this helps but it's my experience and perspective.

As an adult I want to offer my perspective. I have been through a huge burnout but I also experience these frequent bouts and undulations as I am finding my way through living with the effects. My experience is that, quite often "our sort" can be all or nothing types. It's very hard to change this aspect, when what really needs to happen is pacing, planning and prioritising of life (which is what official guidance probably says). This can be difficult when you have difficulty with foresight. 

It might be that after resting, your son suddenly has the energy, goes like the clappers (because there are things he couldn't or didn't want to do a few weeks previously and wants to make up for it, or there are things he feels he "should" be doing) then crashes out. I get help by way of reminders from those closest to me, ("is that a good idea?") but it has taken a few years to work out what contributes to accumulation (and it isn't always obvious). It also takes listening and trusting those around me on my part. Another thing which is difficult when you want to do your own thing and think you know best! 

I think what I'm trying to say is, if you can have some sort of dialogue with your son, or awareness of what contributes to these episodes, maybe gentle reminders can be given to pace which may help slightly smooth out the up and down aspect. I am reminded during my "activity" phases not to over do it. But I still do. I have to think hard and be reminded of the consequences if I were to overdo it. Often this can be unintentional and its only looking back do I understand why I crashed, but I try and "bank" this as a reminder. Then there's learning to be kind to yourself and knowing what you need to do (or being reminded of this also) when the crash inevitably comes. It is frustrating, especially when you don't understand the causes and I should imagine for an 18 year old lad, even more so.

I have come to the conclusion this boom & bust aspect is part of my life and while I do have strategies in place,  there's also an acceptance "this is how I am". However I am not a teenage boy but a grown adult and its taken quite a few years of self reflection and help from those around me to get to this stage of understanding. 

I've no idea if this helps but it's my experience and perspective.

Many thanks for the reply ‘out_of_time’ it certainly does help, thanks for your time with the response.

Just to hear others have experienced similar situations helps me and Charlie moving forward.

I think you’ve summed up what is happening perfectly, he certainly pushes himself during the ‘active stage’ (I will use that from now on) and hides his autism very well with friends, social situations, college etc which must in its self be exhausting.

It’s good advice to have a chat with him about potential triggers which may not be initially obvious to either me or him and yes a little bit of kindness and acceptance may be needed if this is his new normal.

Teenage years are so tricky, I’m so pleased we have found somewhere to discuss these issues in a safe and understanding environment, I found very little available in the ‘real world’ 

Many thanks again, have a great weekend.

This describes my experience of burnout too.

Once I'm feeling ok again I tend to go and do all the things I wasn't doing during,  then burnout again!

Trying to meter out the emotional energy we have and use over time definitely helps but is very hard to master. We use so much more on things than others , so when we feel we've got enough we sometimes don't think about how much we actually burn to do fairly simple stuff and end up running dry quick.