Mental health support - therapy

In the area I lived in there was no specialist provision for autistic individuals. Only CBT through the NHS (which also didn’t work for me at all). I had therapy several times both outside the UK and through NHS and none of it helped and some of it was very damaging. My university recently funded a few sessions privately with a counsellor who is autistic himself and has a lot of experience working with neurodiverse people so I thought I would give therapy one more try and I have kept seeing this counsellor privately. I think it is essential you have a therapist who has a good understanding of neurodiversity (and is not viewing it as a deficit) - i don’t necessarily think they have to be neurodiverse themselves though I do think it helps: I actually specifically looked for an autistic therapist when I was looking for the therapist I am seeing now. It really helps actually and of course all autistic individuals are different but I think communication is much easier and there is a lot more understanding and personal insight. I think it has to be a good fit. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t continue- therapy can cause damage too- I wish I had listened to my instincts in the past- the biggest damage for me was caused by being misdiagnosed with anorexia nervosa (when in fact the cause of issues around food were digestive issues (which run in my family) and autism related issues- sensory, need for routine, fear of change, bad at recognising hunger/ fullness cues)- being treated as having an eating disorder I did not have caused so much damage- I tried to convince myself they were right as I desperately wanted an answer and solution to not being well, but this really harmed me. Years later the NHS eating disorder team actually realised their mistake too and admitted the diagnosis is incorrect… but the damage is done. The problem is that if someone doesn’t fit neatly into one of the known/common categories, it is very tempting for professionals to make it fit into one of these anyways. It is so important for people to be open minded and to listen- these are qualities i think are essential in a good therapist. I am not sure this is helpful- I really hope you manage to get some support. I found my therapist by going through a website where neurodiverse therapists could advertise their services - I tried to find it just now but didn’t manage to- but I am sure I can locate it again if you want?

Hi there,

It does vary locally. In the BANES and Bristol area you have BASS (which is NHS) which provides specific courses for groups such as managing anxiety which can be really helpful. They are also able to talk to people like Talking Therapies or the psychiatric teams to explain what adjustments might be necessary for altering the talking therapy. 

In some areas the local Mind provide counselling which can be helpful. Also look for other charities in the area that might provide it.

I was lucky enough to get group DBT through my university counselling service, which for me was the single most useful course of treatment I've ever done. 

Overall, it is probably worth looking outside of the NHS. But if you do need to go via NHS, there is a document somewhere on NAS for you to explain your needs and what adjustments are required which may be good to send to them before hand or give them in the first session.

You're most welcome! :)

My NHS counselling was extended a couple of times before ending in December last year. At the end, my counsellor and I agreed that it might be best for me to have a short break initially, to let things settle, reflect on what I'd want moving forward, etc.

Also, for all of the usual autistic reasons, I haven't yet managed to do any proper research into my options! I did search a directory and find a few people who looked promising, but I delayed the "real exercise" for another time.

Sorry I can't be of more help!

Thank you everyone - there’s some really good advice here and some useful links. 

Thank you that’s really helpful. Can I ask, did you manage to find a good counsellor privately? How easy was this? 

Hello Francesca67,

Thank you for reaching out to the community, and sharing your experiences as an adult awaiting diagnosis. It feels really nice to read such thoughtful and detailed recommendations from other users. In addition, you might also visit the following resources:

NAS - Mental Health - this page has useful links and guidance on a range of mental health issues. 

Autistic and ADHD life as a paradox: a personal perspective - in this blog post, Ella Tabb shares her story of being diagnosed with both ADHD and Autism as an adult, how the comorbidity of two different diagnoses affect her and her journey of unmasking and self-understanding. I just thought I would share her story, because perhaps reading it might help you understand yourself a bit better and work through some of the trauma. I for one feel more self-affirmed and uplifted when I read success stories about autistic people who I can somewhat relate to (e.g., Ella Tabb, Ramona Jones, Temple Grandin etc).

All the best,

Good_Vibes365.

Hi and welcome to the community!

After my autism diagnosis, I had a course of NHS counselling along the lines that you describe, supported by a counsellor who had ADHD (I had specifically requested a counsellor with experience of neurodivergence). Before my assessment, I'd also had a course of CBT, which didn't work for me (which isn't unusual for autistic people).

As you're on antidepressants and struggle with anxiety, if you're in England, you can self refer for NHS talking therapy, which includes a range of types. Otherwise, I'd suggest seeing your GP to request a referral (which you can also do if you're in England, if you prefer).

NHS Talking Therapy

I should add that, in my case, I definitely found the NHS counselling helpful. However, at the end, it was also recommended that I pursue ongoing, longer-term counselling. This will need to be on a private basis due this not being available on the NHS.

You might first find it helpful to borrow or buy this book, which includes discussion of various types of therapy and counselling, together with advice on choosing the right therapist or counsellor - all from an autistic person's viewpoint. Several of us here have found it very helpful, myself included:

The Autistic Survival Guide to Therapy

If you'd prefer to pay for private counselling, then places where you can look for providers include the NAS directory, and/or the BACP or Psychology Today websites:

NAS - Autism Services Directory