Feel like I'm a outlier. Somewhat apart from the rest of you. I regularly check for new posts, but feel unable to contribute.
Feel like I'm a outlier. Somewhat apart from the rest of you. I regularly check for new posts, but feel unable to contribute.
I think many of us feel like outliers here .
Maybe that's the point.
Somewhat apart from the rest of you
What A said - we are apart together.
Good to see you posting - is there anything on your mind that you want to share?
If not, no need to reply - just glad to see you are still here.
Just thinking about the issues/difficulties/problems that got missed or were dismissed as 'character defects' . Whether that's a common autistic experience. Especially among those of us who were late diagnosed. It's been suggested by several people with ADHD that I may well have the 'inattentive' type. It would certainly explain a lot re my difficulty prioritising, when it comes to multistep tasks. Also school reports with frequent comments about being disorganised and messy.
At 67 I don't see any point in getting assessed,in the way I would've done 20-30 years ago. It's not always easy, in fact it's very hard at times, but living with things as they are- rather than how they could/should have been - is the sensible approach to take.
No need to back out. As my daughter would say 'no problem'
I’m 53. Never had a partner or a relationship. No family. No friends other than work colleagues. No hope that will change. I really hoped to find other people in my position here.
Sorry, I’m making your thread about me so I’ll back out now. Just know that you are very far from the only person who feels like the odd one out here.
but I found only a very tiny number here have failed to find friends and partners.
I've had very few f2f friends over 67 years. I was in a very similar situation to you till I met my late wife in psych hospital. I'd given up hope of ever having a partner . Outside of my chosen and birth families there is no one. I do understand what it's like to have once been in your position.
I think there are quite a few people on here who’ve never had a job. Not having a degree describes around two thirds of the population. And people with severe mental illness are if anything over represented here compared to the general population. A huge proportion here are medicated and there have been so many heartbreaking tales of time spent in psychiatric facilities.
One of the things that disappointed me most about this forum was that I expected a group of autistic people to have a similar social experience to myself - social difficulties are a key feature of the criteria - but I found only a very tiny number here have failed to find friends and partners.
You may think not having a career is a failure, but I’d say being so judged by the world and society and people that nobody wants to have you in their life is a far bigger failure. Basic human contact and being loved are such fundamental aspects of the human experience that most people here cannot begin to understand or process the experience I have had in life.
Which I guess goes back to my original comment. We’re a diverse group.
I guess it depends on what you regard as making you an outlier. For me it's never having had a paid job, not having a university degree, having a severe mental illness.
I am sorry Firemonkey. My core point still stands though - it makes you less of an outlier here than some of us.
I had an older partner. She was the pragmatic, streetwise one, until she developed vascular dementia c2002/3. We were together 22 years and married nearly 19 years. She died in 2005. The daughter I mention is my late wife's youngest from a previous marriage. We regard ourselves as 'father and daughter' . That's something that's developed over time. Her biological father was off the scene before she reached school age. I talk about 'chosen family'. In that we're not blood related,, but I love them and they love me just as much as if we are.
The last birth family I saw was my late father in October 2018. I do exchange regular emails with my brother.
I had an older partner. She was the pragmatic, streetwise one, until she developed vascular dementia c2002/3. We were together 22 years and married nearly 19 years. She died in 2005. The daughter I mention is my late wife's youngest from a previous marriage. We regard ourselves as 'father and daughter' . That's something that's developed over time. Her biological father was off the scene before she reached school age. I talk about 'chosen family'. In that we're not blood related,, but I love them and they love me just as much as if we are.
The last birth family I saw was my late father in October 2018. I do exchange regular emails with my brother.
No need to back out. As my daughter would say 'no problem'
I’m 53. Never had a partner or a relationship. No family. No friends other than work colleagues. No hope that will change. I really hoped to find other people in my position here.
Sorry, I’m making your thread about me so I’ll back out now. Just know that you are very far from the only person who feels like the odd one out here.
but I found only a very tiny number here have failed to find friends and partners.
I've had very few f2f friends over 67 years. I was in a very similar situation to you till I met my late wife in psych hospital. I'd given up hope of ever having a partner . Outside of my chosen and birth families there is no one. I do understand what it's like to have once been in your position.
I think there are quite a few people on here who’ve never had a job. Not having a degree describes around two thirds of the population. And people with severe mental illness are if anything over represented here compared to the general population. A huge proportion here are medicated and there have been so many heartbreaking tales of time spent in psychiatric facilities.
One of the things that disappointed me most about this forum was that I expected a group of autistic people to have a similar social experience to myself - social difficulties are a key feature of the criteria - but I found only a very tiny number here have failed to find friends and partners.
You may think not having a career is a failure, but I’d say being so judged by the world and society and people that nobody wants to have you in their life is a far bigger failure. Basic human contact and being loved are such fundamental aspects of the human experience that most people here cannot begin to understand or process the experience I have had in life.
Which I guess goes back to my original comment. We’re a diverse group.
I guess it depends on what you regard as making you an outlier. For me it's never having had a paid job, not having a university degree, having a severe mental illness.
I am sorry Firemonkey. My core point still stands though - it makes you less of an outlier here than some of us.