New to the society, please read and comment :)

Hello, after years of knowing i am different i finally got my autism diagnosis at age 34... however it still came as a shock because people dont think i 'look or act autistic'... anyway id love to chat to anyone else newly diagnosed. My parents and husband are quite sceptical about my diagnosis and my marriage is coming to an end soon due to emotional abuse and trauma ive suffered over the years. I think a combination of masking all these years and being a trauma victim in a marriage has made me a very vulnerable person today. Im fighting through for my two children and sticking out my full time career which is my escape from home life and trauma thoughts. Work is definitely my safe place. On citalopram to battle anxiety and depression. Looking to chat to anyone and everyone really and just support each other as a community. Im in Lincolnshire so anyone who knows of any support groups in that area id love to know ;) Im very open to lots of ideas and suggestions from people, im a very direct person and im not easily offended so say what you like. Thanks everyone!

  • Welcome to the forum, I hope you find it helpful

  • Hey Obsidian 

    Just wanted to say hi and welcome and of course congratulations on your diagnosis. I am undiagnosed but got a referral last week, it took nearly a year to get the courage to approach my Gp. 
    I hope it gives you all the answers you need and in turn helps you to feel more comfortable. 

  • Hello and welcome, sorry to hear about the problems you're having, lots of people don't believe us when we're diagnosed, but remember you were diagnosed by a professional who's had training in this, they don't have any preconceptions about who you are or anything and aren't making a judgement based on prejudice or percieved character traits.

    If you've not done so already then contact www.womensaid.org. for help and advice about the problems you're having with your partner. Breaking up with someone is never easy, but you sound really together about it all, but I guess you're doing a swan and gliding serenely along on top, but paddling desperately underneath.

    I found watching Christine McGuiness's Unmasking my Autism, it's an eye opener it was the first time I felt truely represented on tv, I wasn't diagnosed until I was 50 and at the time there was still little awareness of autism in women and how it affects us. Maybe watching it with your parents might help them to understand too?

  • Hi and welcome to the forum.

    It was a shock to me too when I realised I was on the spectrum. Having been unaware for 5 decades before, it helped me understand some stuff and it was really interesting to find out what autism actually is and how our brains/minds differ from typical people.

    I hope you do feel supported here, and ask any questions you want.

  • Congratulations on getting the diagnosis! I’m not diagnosed. Im sorry you suffer trauma.
    I’m tired and overwhelmed by everything and for me work is a safe place too. Im not abused at home, but the two people I have everyday, who talk to me and expect me to engage in conversations and games everyday is draining. My husband and daughter are a crowd of noisy people. I wish you find here what you need. 

  • Being later in life diagnosed online via Zoom and email in 2021 as a 54 years old Irish gay man in Manchester U.K. 23 years, I have found it tough going, especially with the lack of post-diagnostic adult autism assessment to identify level and type of autism and types of appropriate support required and therefore no knowledge of nor access to appropriate adult autism support required in my particular case - added to this is a lot of pressure from family in Ireland (who initially wanted me to have the diagnosis) and because they are traditional Catholics, because of the Irish Catholic cultural background, they believe that I should not be allowed to be living alone without a live-in carer or a priest or a nun coming around daily - in many ways, coming out as autistic is very similar to coming out as gay in an Irish Catholic context, especially as I was raised an only child in Rural Ireland - in my experience since I was diagnosed, people’s ignorance about autism is deliberate and comes from a refusal to understand mental health issues and hidden disabilities, given the lack of appropriate adult autism support (which is not dependent on increased funding) as very often, even the simplest things don’t even require funding, but does require a change in attitude and perception of those in positions of power, which attitudes and perceptions need to be robustly challenged at every level and in every way, as it does among the general public towards mental health issues and hidden disabilities in general