Overwhelmed

I am sorry for your experiences. I am particularly sorry for the families that are having to deal with these events. Life is unfortunately messy. I have seen this firsthand by having lived in two different war zones. I was a United States Air Force volunteer attached to the USAF morale unit in Dhahran, Saudi Arabia when terrorists hit our air base barracks in Al-Khobar. The front of one building was literally blown off. 19 airmen lost their lives and another 400 were wounded. 

I was also in Beirut in June of 1999 when the Israeli Air Force bombed the city to punish the Lebanese government for their failure to control Hezbollah who were launching attacks into what was then occupied South Lebanon. 

In a much more upfront and personal experience, I was a rural volunteer firefighter in Pennsylvania. I've had experiences in dealing with the dead and the dying that I cannot unremember or unsee. 

The worst experience I had was when my engine company responded to a collission between a car filled with teenagers and an empty school bus. The bus had been turning right at a T intersection when a car came speeding over the crest of a hill. Since busses are quite large, the bus had taken a wide turn that carried it into the on-coming lane. The speeding car tried to swerve. It clipped the front of the bus, went off the road, and tumbled a few times before landing in an Amish cornfield. 

One passenger who hadn't been wearing his seatbelt was ejected. He died when the car rolled over him. Paramedics had another passenger in the ambulance. She later died in that ambulance while we were waiting for a helicopter medivac. The driver of the car had some bruises and was talking to the police when we rolled up.One passenger was missing. We had to spread out to do a search for her. 

It turned out that by some miracle, the young woman in question had been thrown free of the tumbling car. She landed in a creek bed. Her fall was broken by the soft mud. There were boulders throughout the creek. She somehow landed in the one spot that safely broker her fall. 

Since the creek was bordered with rushes that snapped back upright after she landed in the creek, it would have been challenging to find her. 

One of my colleagues heard her calls for help. After locating her, we put her on a gurney and set up a helicopter emergency landing zone (basically 4 traffic cones spread out in a big square), After the helicopter landed, we took the gurney to the vehicle, loaded her aboard, and then ducked away to avoid the spinning blades as the helicopter took off for a hospital in Harrisburg.

I thought I was fine. Later that day I saw my pastor and I burst into tears. 

I didn't know the two teens who died on site but I grieved for their passing, for the lives that might have been, and for the suffering that their friends and family would now have to endure. I also felt bad for the bus driver. Even though this had been an accident and she was found to not be at fault, she wound up quitting her job because of the guilt she felt as a result of the accident. 

Crying as I learned from this experience, was a good way to vent emotions. 

I am sorry for your experiences. I am particularly sorry for the families that are having to deal with these events. Life is unfortunately messy. I have seen this firsthand by having lived in two different war zones. I was a United States Air Force volunteer attached to the USAF morale unit in Dhahran, Saudi Arabia when terrorists hit our air base barracks in Al-Khobar. The front of one building was literally blown off. 19 airmen lost their lives and another 400 were wounded. 

I was also in Beirut in June of 1999 when the Israeli Air Force bombed the city to punish the Lebanese government for their failure to control Hezbollah who were launching attacks into what was then occupied South Lebanon. 

In a much more upfront and personal experience, I was a rural volunteer firefighter in Pennsylvania. I've had experiences in dealing with the dead and the dying that I cannot unremember or unsee. 

The worst experience I had was when my engine company responded to a collission between a car filled with teenagers and an empty school bus. The bus had been turning right at a T intersection when a car came speeding over the crest of a hill. Since busses are quite large, the bus had taken a wide turn that carried it into the on-coming lane. The speeding car tried to swerve. It clipped the front of the bus, went off the road, and tumbled a few times before landing in an Amish cornfield. 

One passenger who hadn't been wearing his seatbelt was ejected. He died when the car rolled over him. Paramedics had another passenger in the ambulance. She later died in that ambulance while we were waiting for a helicopter medivac. The driver of the car had some bruises and was talking to the police when we rolled up.One passenger was missing. We had to spread out to do a search for her. 

It turned out that by some miracle, the young woman in question had been thrown free of the tumbling car. She landed in a creek bed. Her fall was broken by the soft mud. There were boulders throughout the creek. She somehow landed in the one spot that safely broker her fall. 

Since the creek was bordered with rushes that snapped back upright after she landed in the creek, it would have been challenging to find her. 

One of my colleagues heard her calls for help. After locating her, we put her on a gurney and set up a helicopter emergency landing zone (basically 4 traffic cones spread out in a big square), After the helicopter landed, we took the gurney to the vehicle, loaded her aboard, and then ducked away to avoid the spinning blades as the helicopter took off for a hospital in Harrisburg.

I thought I was fine. Later that day I saw my pastor and I burst into tears. 

I didn't know the two teens who died on site but I grieved for their passing, for the lives that might have been, and for the suffering that their friends and family would now have to endure. I also felt bad for the bus driver. Even though this had been an accident and she was found to not be at fault, she wound up quitting her job because of the guilt she felt as a result of the accident. 

Crying as I learned from this experience, was a good way to vent emotions.