General Mental Unwellness thread

I was really apprehensive last night, a friend is moving back to Scotland and there's going to be a "do", at first I thought it was just going to be 4 or 5 of us at a restaurant, now it seems to be expanding and my social phobia's is kicking in and all the imagined "what if's " are coming out of thier hidey hole.

The other thing I'm not looking forward to, is having to get an electrician out to look at the kitchen lights which are flickering, last time he said that we were probably due a rewire of the house in the next 5-8 years, well now its 5 or 6 years on. So far so good, Mum and I have worked out what rejigging we want, but I'm not sure she realises that it will probably mean a new kitchen too, as some of the sockets we want removing are tiled around. I want a new kitchen, I've wanted a new kitchen for years, this one is badly laid out and I think designed for short people who heat things up rather than tall people who cook. I don't think the kitchen has been replaced sinse the 1980's and it's showing it age, buts are falling apart and the work surfaces are getting garmsy and chipped. I don't know who laid the tiles on the floor, but they started in the wrong place, probably a corner rather than the middle and working out, because the kitchen has been extended a couple of times, the latest exptension's out of alignment with the older bits. This means that the work top is 4 inches narrower at one than the other, this looks worse because it's even more out of alignment with the square floor tiles as well as the washing machine not fitting under the work top properly. I'm not particulalry OCD, but it drives me crazy, it's an afront to design. Mum will not be happy, she says never wants to have to live through building work ever again, my friend who lives with us will also want to comment, he will want to design the kitchen as he used to work for Moben, in my opinion this should exclude him from ever designing another kitchen ever again! He will ask us what we want and then tell us what we should have, which will be totally different to what we want, lots of rows will ensue and it will all be down to me to reconsile and make everything work and keep everyone happy. I hate the feeling of having all the responsibility and none of the power.

If all that need doing then I think I shall insist that Mum and our friend get passports and go on one of those cheap winter trips to Lanzarotte or somewhere and leave me to project manage and they can come back to find everything done.

Oh and we need a new front door unit with a floor to ceiling side window too as the old one keeps leaking everytime it rains and I don't want to spend another winter slipping on wet floors or tripping over towels.

I can see an autumn of arguements and stress ahead.

I was really apprehensive last night, a friend is moving back to Scotland and there's going to be a "do", at first I thought it was just going to be 4 or 5 of us at a restaurant, now it seems to be expanding and my social phobia's is kicking in and all the imagined "what if's " are coming out of thier hidey hole.

The other thing I'm not looking forward to, is having to get an electrician out to look at the kitchen lights which are flickering, last time he said that we were probably due a rewire of the house in the next 5-8 years, well now its 5 or 6 years on. So far so good, Mum and I have worked out what rejigging we want, but I'm not sure she realises that it will probably mean a new kitchen too, as some of the sockets we want removing are tiled around. I want a new kitchen, I've wanted a new kitchen for years, this one is badly laid out and I think designed for short people who heat things up rather than tall people who cook. I don't think the kitchen has been replaced sinse the 1980's and it's showing it age, buts are falling apart and the work surfaces are getting garmsy and chipped. I don't know who laid the tiles on the floor, but they started in the wrong place, probably a corner rather than the middle and working out, because the kitchen has been extended a couple of times, the latest exptension's out of alignment with the older bits. This means that the work top is 4 inches narrower at one than the other, this looks worse because it's even more out of alignment with the square floor tiles as well as the washing machine not fitting under the work top properly. I'm not particulalry OCD, but it drives me crazy, it's an afront to design. Mum will not be happy, she says never wants to have to live through building work ever again, my friend who lives with us will also want to comment, he will want to design the kitchen as he used to work for Moben, in my opinion this should exclude him from ever designing another kitchen ever again! He will ask us what we want and then tell us what we should have, which will be totally different to what we want, lots of rows will ensue and it will all be down to me to reconsile and make everything work and keep everyone happy. I hate the feeling of having all the responsibility and none of the power.

If all that need doing then I think I shall insist that Mum and our friend get passports and go on one of those cheap winter trips to Lanzarotte or somewhere and leave me to project manage and they can come back to find everything done.

Oh and we need a new front door unit with a floor to ceiling side window too as the old one keeps leaking everytime it rains and I don't want to spend another winter slipping on wet floors or tripping over towels.

I can see an autumn of arguements and stress ahead.

I don't have any advice on social occasions as currently  I avoid them all.  I would not recommend doing what I do.  What's the worst that could happen?  I wish you good luck.

I was listening to Pete Wharmbys audiobook in the night, he got to a section on exactly the same scenario, NT people don’t understand that you can’t add people to something like a dinner after you have already accepted. I know it just puts me in a tailspin and I  will likely shutdown.

I had it happen to me a few months back,  my wife and I were visiting her sister, it was pre agreed that we would go to her local pub for something to eat. On the way to the pub, the sister announced that two of her  friends would be joining us, I immediately started going into one, extra people hadn’t been agreed, strangers to me as well. I shutdown and I’m sure thought of by the +2 as a weird mute person. Things like, will I have to talk to or sit next to them was going through my head. The sister also doesn’t really accept autism unless someone is Rain Man.

Problem is we are expected to fit in with normal NT behaviour. What’s normal autistic behaviour to us can’t be tolerated by NT people and accepted by them.
I knew if I questioned the situation then I would be thought as controlling or a nuisance.

My wife and I are just buying our new home in Cornwall, it’s at least 200 years old and very crooked, nothing is straight, it is freaking me out a bit. We also need a new kitchen, I want to try and straighten everything, my wife is against it. 
I went online and ordered a kitchen catalog from ‘Wren kitchens,” it’s allowed us to establish what we want before the rep (reptile) in the Burtons suit starts annoying me. Generally their product seems quite good and not over priced.