Published on 12, July, 2020
*Please forgive* the length and depth, but I want to see if I can help shed light on this matter as a "what now" guide-book doesn't appear to exist once one is diagnosed. I am working on getting this out there!
THE KEY difference to Autism is how we communicate.
Autism can be noticeable in degree* to what the DSM perceives as a ‘deficit’ in communication. But it’s actually just a sort of neuro-wiring designing a Difference In how we communicate, and I believe there is an evolutionary purpose. The larger problem is our Being in Time - the era we live in is producing social articulations, which are not only unhelpful to us but damaging to everyone.
While we’re all designed for the same “end game”, it appears as the human race, we’re set up with a few different operating systems which access and use language different. This is one ‘development difference’ from birth and impacts everything that follows. Thinking about computers can help. They might perform the same tasks, but use different codes to do so (and are not compatible with one another).
Throughout time and globally, humans have developed civilisations with unique vocabularies and socially accepted behaviours/morals. Research has found that brain waves can sync up, that emotions can catch like a virus, and that most are quite susceptible to the power of suggestion. This last one is crucial to NeuroTypical framework.
While Autistic and Non-Autistic kids can have added disabilities, ideally, we’re quite similar in very early years, omitting the occasional exception. But most Typical children will be socialised by primary school through language (like coding a computer), and communicate with the majority through symbolic social constructs (how a word is stated, a gesture, posture, even phrases which might hold alternate meanings than what the dictionary would produce).This creates an ability to intuit others, but also a herd mentality. One is grounded through a sense of being connected to others (often too much), and words can be fluid, organic and nonsensical. Later in life, one may have an awakening, recognise an Auto-Pilot mode and Deconstruct, becoming more cognizant, grow beyond unreasonable expectations and check biases. They can even decide to be intentional with their words, less frivolous. By the time we’re both 70, we might be better able to understand one another! The Autistic can learn through sound wisdom and various rule-books with direct instructions on how to be part of a social collective. In a different Time in history, everyone would receive direct instruction on ‘how-to’ be socially accepted and how to invest in relationships, but our timeline has now been branded the Age of Arrogance - reinforced by consumerism.
The NeuroTypical brain is basically ‘set up’ for this symbolic use of linguistics, which is particular to the “Left-Lobe”. According to theory, one uses language to symbolise emotional attitudes (Emotivism or the Hoorah/Boo Theory), and this includes morals. David Hume suggested it is associations (any symbolic representation), which are more powerful than bias to also be cautious of. And that Morality is determined by Sentiment. SIDE note: 1. sentiment being emotional, and 2. empathy being often confused with an Emotional Contagion, it is easy to see how 3. Empathy is misunderstood as a Moral issue.
There are library shelves with a 150 + years of psychology based on Typical thinking. We know what embodies it, thus what diverges. The riddle isn't just the challenge of accepting and navigating NT flaws in the operating system, but in discovering what is a Divergent Potential or either imbalanced (dysfunction) or intentional rebellion. Thus, Mad or Bad.
Psychoanalysis initially proposed that Socialisation involves Filtering out incoming signals (noises or smells, for instance) along with internal psychological signals, like desire (often associated with selfishness, childishness or disruption), and channeling the gut-response into appropriate words or social behaviour. This intentional misrepresentation of behaviour/words is entirely part of how NT thinking operates! And this should help us (Autistics) pause if we're not already aware of the confusion.
FILTERING: The "special NeuroTypical ability" to filter out external and internal unwanted ‘noise’ is the biological mechanism of Inhibition. Inhibitors are responsible for the pruning in our brains as we develop, and potentially, it seems, for designing this well-pruned left lobe with strengthened pathways for social-linguistics. If it's helpful, I like to think of the NeuroTypical brain as a decadent garden, meticulously pruned and the Divergent brain as a wildflower forest, with light pruning (as we still need to live in either). Many medical papers are discovering less of these inhibitors in Autistic and ADHD biology.
Inhibitors act like a resistor (engineering) or a canal lock, keeping one from experiencing too much all-at-once. We could use the analogy of police shutting a party down. They help one ‘adapt’ or adjust. They shut down thoughts looping or spiralling out-of-control, producing excitement, or its dark side, anxiety. However, too much can override Natural danger signals or create a difficulty deciphering which mushroom is toxic and which is the elixir of life. In other words, many papers are finding Autistic and ADHD stress-induced-anxiety is biological and would’ve been useful in a tribal setting. The current social surroundings are created for those who’ve become too desensitised and can no longer notice when noise levels are deafening or lights are actually blinding (both preventable, yet on the rise).
A Loss In Translation: If you’re not ‘wired’ to be easily socialised, indoctrinated or encoded through these social linguistics, there will be a great deal missed along the way, not just a sense of being too unique, but a difficulty feeling connected to all social constructs: church, culture, school, nationality, even ones internal identity. One will mature slower (due to not receiving the reinforced social rules through a sort of telepathy) along with a difficulty understanding gender roles, power roles and mixing the two up. Even currency is a fabricated illusion through language. But the real difference is found in what we’re motivated by.
Two things are *crucial* to understanding NT communication as suggested by psychoanalysts. 1. There is a sense of being too-much like everyone else which also creates sense of belonging. But can be a catalyst to social dominance and to the need to be ‘unique’ (only if that means loved and envied - not rejected from the tribe). 2. A sense of being guilty and indebted to others, which can motivate behaviour and words, but also build and glue community together. This is part of Typical Defence Mechanisms: Sublimation and Oedipalisation and complex, but worth understanding. Both are socialised into ones being through social-linguistics. Multiple analysts found that Autistics weren't creating defence mechanisms and this is how I began to understand what Autism even was.
So Imposter Syndrome? Is a virtue hail, pleading solidarity with the fear of being found actually guilty. And “faking it till you make it”? Is a social endeavour of performing a bit of theatre. It’s a Typical behaviour-language which attracts the desired response one is after because they have already been told how to do a thing. Authenticity is never so unique to be beyond acceptable bounds. One must calculate when rebelling and/or breaking the rules. If you lose, much is at stake. One can’t break rules if they don’t know them. Jung, who introduced the “mask”, suggested we construct a mask for a bit of uniqueness from feeling and thinking too much like everyone else, so to create a bit of mystery and theatre. Nothing like a little cosplay to make one feel liberated! One’s mask is a social norm, often the ‘individual’ behind it feels stuck in the glue which everyone else is stuck in. This is why the term 'masking' is not helpful. Everyone masks, but NeuroTypical reasoning cannot relate to masking as a form of Survival, because masking is rewarding.
Social groups of any kind are always about relationships. Relationships are built on Shared Experience, which is often built through Shared Language. Now, Music is a language. There are many different forms of Expression and art, all variations of language. But the Social-Linguistics shared among the Typical Majority, is what Autism specifically diverges from.
The Autistic-being has always been a fraction of the population. Luckily our ADHD friends can bridge a gap and speak both NT and Au, as can others with similar neurotypes without this social-linguistic difference. Not that we need one, but a new research paper is being circulated showing Autistics empathise with one another. If Empathy = Relating with and Responding as expected, it is our shared language and shared experience.
This has always been one of my favourite links: https://autcollab.org/2020/04/30/autism-the-cultural-immune-system-of-human-societies/?fbclid=IwAR37xumHkRga0hADICA80wxaWycn7_Kr9Oc6uZhcs2zJ0QzamXOI4qwU2bQ
What I've not included, but could aid understanding: Alexithymia, Montropism, in-depth on GABA inhibition.
Please feel free to ask for clarity. I'd like support new ways to better understand these Differences and have had a life of being misunderstood... which might have produced a drive toward articulation. x
I very much enjoyed reading and understanding your detailed contribution. I have nothing further to add.
Paper said:In me, there is a misfiring in the brain which means I am not picking up on all the hidden body language. I don't automatically know what others are feeling.
Something I'm trying to express in the above is that this isn't actually a misfiring.
The neurotypical "operating system" is set up to catch all these social nuances at the expense of things which might be harmful. The ability to be socially coded also comes at the price of a potential to be hypnotised.
I fully believe what appears to be a 'deficit' in social linguistics is we are the canary in the coal mine, a small percent of our 'tribal' community who have potential to sense danger. But at the expense of 'fitting in' socially. It does seem I've yet to meet an extroverted Autistic. And this means someone who needs to re-charge by spending most of their time around others.
Humans can't have it both ways. ADHD is the closest we can come to being in-tune with our Natural and Social environment. All magic has a price!
Thanks for the post, it's very interesting, and aligns with a lot of my experiences. I think I matured slower because nothing came naturally and it was such a conscious effort.
The way I have come to think about it is in terms of missing innate behavioural traits. Think about the fact birds instinctively build a nest, or that an ant will follow a hormone trail, a bee will collect honey, or a beaver builds a dam, or a dog sniffs another dog's butt. Nobody taught them to do these things, it is just part of the evolutionary history. Those who didn't do it didn't survive. At no point are they consciously thinking with language about it.
With humans it is different, because we have highly unusual intelligence and conscious thought and complex communication allowing transfer of all ideas from one human to another. But a large amount of human behaviour is still baked in and automatic. It comes naturally to almost everyone. Without thought, people will instantly recognise faces, have their heart race and feel sexual desire around a potential mate, pick up on body language automatically, smile when another does, feel another's emotions, without ever thinking about it.
From my perspective, it appears like mind reading. People somehow know what everyone around them is thinking and feeling. And there are all these hidden signals going on - the equivalent of a bee's waggle dance. I'm like an outside observer, completely oblivious to it all.
Someone with prosopagnosia (face blindness) doesn't recognise faces, and can't tell the difference between their relatives, friends, or a stranger. This is a misfiring of an evolved trait that should exist in the brain.
In me, there is a misfiring in the brain which means I am not picking up on all the hidden body language. I don't automatically know what others are feeling. Body language means nothing to me. I don't notice facial expressions or use my own (unless it's an intentional conscious act). The automatic development of social cues, small talk, how to put people at ease, how to keep a conversation going, etc, never happened in me. It was all such a mystery.
When I was very young I thought I was a robot or an alien. I studied the behaviour of others, I noticed patterns, I tried to mimic it (with varying degrees of success). I used to think everyone was doing that, and I was just really bad at it. But in fact, it should be natural. Most 7 year olds are not thinking about where there arms should be, or the position of their facial muscles, or what the "correct" response to a small talk question is, or not knowing what to do/say when someone asks a new (non-factual) question, or misinterpreting such questions as factual.
What's different between humans and other animals is our intellect, so where an animal would simply die without the naturally evolved behavioural patterns, in a human, we can learn them, and adapt. And that's what I did from a young age. I studied people and imitated them. I did it wrong a lot, but it has been a continually evolving heuristic in my brain, with learned stock phrases, pattern matching, and preparation.
I have a very logical brain that notices patterns, so I am lucky in being able to fake all this (however badly I do it). The sad thing is how much social exclusion and being told I'm doing it wrong it took in the early years. And it is exhausting. It's a continual conscious effort. It's never natural for me. I'm never just having a chat with someone. For me it's always rule following, but I have never been able to learn the rules properly because people seem to have access to a secret ruleset that I can't read.
I'm constantly thinking about what position I'm standing in, where my arms are, am I pulling a stupid face, have I looked at their eyes enough, what is the correct small talk response to that phrase? So often I <insert stock response I learned from a movie or heard someone else saying>. I can run out of script quickly and it's very tiring for me to put all this effort into pretending to be like everyone else.
I'm always honest and it doesn't occur to me that others would lie or that they're asking something they don't want an answer to etc. With another autistic person when discussing science or mathematics I can talk passionately and exchange information efficiently, confident that there is nothing else going on besides the things we're saying.