Published on 12, July, 2020
There seems to be two schools of thought on this: do it and do not. Many people say that everyone masks - autistics and allistics alike and I do think that's true. Most people have a work-mask, for example. Some autistics say that they are fed up of masking and want to stop, or have stopped, and that it's better for them.
I've come to the conclusion that masking itself isn't the problem. I think, at least for me, it's the motivation behind it that needs to be examined. Why am I doing it?
Where I'm going with this is that masking can sometimes, I think, be good. It can be protective for the individual and it can even be enabling. Exhausting, yes, but still enabling. But other times it can be bad. Bad for me, and it can lead to a bad outcome for others. An example, would be if you're a "pleaser". I find it hard to say no and I consider that a part of my masking make-up. I often want to say no, but cannot, and yet sometimes no is the right answer.
Maybe I need to be more mindful in my masking.... if that's even possible. Anyone have any thoughts on this?
It is hugely personal. I think do what works best for you in any situation that you find yourself. For myself, masking can be exhausting, but otherwise it has no particular adverse effects. Therefore, as we live in a majority neurotypical world, I mask in order to exist optimally in that world. Since being diagnosed, I now tend to avoid situations I know will be unpleasant for me, if I can, and have much less inhibition in bailing out of situations that have become unpleasant. I suspect that for most people there is a balance to be struck between being comfortable and enduring discomfort in pursuit of goals that are meaningful to us. Did I find formal examinations, in examination halls full of anxious people, hell on wheels? Yes, but I did them, because I knew I needed the qualifications to achieve a good quality of life.