So here I am posting again, about that oh so wonderful topic, the brain, the chemical imbalances, the nhs and how they just don’t seem to listen, the quick fix SSRI’s, the lack of mental health support, especially in certain areas because if you don’t live in a city, you’re pretty screwed by the choice of help you can get.
This stormy chaotic mind of mine just doesn’t want to give me a break. Something happens and it plummets the world into destruction and darkness, everything is wrong, there’s no good out there, judgement on everyone and ye shall not be saved.
I can’t remember the last time I felt happiness, excitement, joy or even something that made me properly laugh, without having to fake these emotions. My job doesn’t help, being on a low income because it’s all I can really manage to handle without getting too worked up or stressed out. I work in retail and it’s probably the worst line of work I’ve had the experience in doing. Sure there are people who enjoy it because they like to help people in that way. For me it’s just a dumpster dive into ignorance, aggression, anonymity (feeling like I’m nobody), carelessness, greed, inhumanity, humiliation and the oh foreboding facial expressions and conversations about crap that all goes in.
Sorry to digress but I’m just trying my hardest to find support for a career change, some kind of a mental health retreat. I do try to research these things myself but I end up flustered with choices and end up nowhere.
