lost and feeling alone

Hi, 

this is my first time posting here, so sorry in advance if this is a ramble, 

I have recently been diagnosed as autistic in my 30's, Ive been in mental health services since I was 17 and during that time been diagnosed with over 40 odd differnt mental health issues but the ones that have stuck are EUPD and Bipolar type 2. 

I can understand to an extent the bipolar one, but the EUPD one never quite sat right met alot of people with EUPD but never really saw myself in them at all or what I was lead to believe EUPD looked like,

but, everytime I'd go to communicate my thoughts about it i'd be anxious for days, role playing what I wanted to say, clam up nothing came out and it got worse if I heard the sigh of impaitence or the tutt, as the pressure of time was too much so i'd leave with my head in shame,

This isnt health service specific, I have had it with DWP, transport people, 

I spoke to a therapist who recommended i'd look into a C-PTSD diagnoses due to my early life expereince, and said i may be aspergic [which I know isnt diagnosed now] due to my weird quirks, lack of friendships or the ability to communicate like other clients.

which hurt like hell if i am honest as I have never truely sought out pure aloness but being rejected constantly after trying really hard by learning everything they liked just to blend in with my peers was exhausting, and I've never seen myself as wierd but knew there was something different. without understanding why it felt impossible to overcome. 

anyway, I wrote my feelings down,  found out i had autism, cptsd got told by a psychiatrist that I did not have EUPD,  potentially it was purely a trendy diagnoses at the time, [laughed] and said it may be a good idea to review my meds, 

I felt like i'd been slapped in the face, Id spent 9 years on a medication given to me purely because "I had eupd", going to bed at 7pm just to be able to get up at 7 am to function like people wanted me to do, having monthly bloods which caused so much sensory distress and not being able to be far from hospitals incase i collapsed [a side effect from the medication] .... and this person laughs to tell me that it was a trendy diagnoses????

but, I am now lost, because I understand the complex ptsd, the autism diagnoses makes perfect sense but now what?

Ive previously tried to engage in therapeutic support in the form of EMDR, DBT MBCT that had no impact really on trauma symptoms, but DBT and MBCT helped a little with anxiety.  I have been refused any help from social services  ummm.. what did the lady say oo thats right higher functioning.... what does that mean? 

socially i dont feel like i function at all, theres issues with mainting a house, transportation, and my own wellbeing.. and friday  also been told that my pip claim, is being reviewed and questioned, the news is saying about vouchers, and treatment .. so the financial support may not be there either that i depend on to help me manage all of that 

i feel so lost and hopeless.. has anyone expereinced this or similar, feel alone