Effects of masking

I've been having to mask a lot lately. It's been absolutely awful for the last couple of months! I got a job which I enjoyed and did briefly, but the masking it required meant I couldn't continue as it ran me in to the ground! Dealing with people and coping with new environments has never been particularly easy for me. How I got through school in one piece I will never know! I'm sure the constant masking through school is what caused my mental breakdown.

How does masking affect you after its occured? I realise this must affect us all in different ways, rather like autism affects us all differently.

For me personally I become very shy, almost a recluse, anxiety goes at an all time high and I'm withdrawn for the next couple of days. Physically I have to endure flu like symptoms - body aches and pain, headache, extreme fatigue, dizziness, lack of appetite, fingers tremor... And I get hit with depression bouts where I feel near rock bottom.

Back when I suffered mentally I had to deal with 'voices' too but luckily this hasn't been the case since 2022.

I've been trying to find ways to overcome this but so far I haven't been successful. Autism to me is a mystery and I'm still trying to figure so much of it out.