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How do I help my 25 yr old son who doesn’t want to be labelled ?

NAS92061
7 months ago

My son left uni with a masters in physics but can’t get a job. His dad died during his time there so I am the only parent and he lives at home with me and his 22 yr old brother. He stays in his room all day with the curtains shut .  He accepts he is different but doesn’t not want to be diagnosed , he refuses to accept interventions to help his mental health. He went to see a therapist who specialises in working with clients with autism. He refused to go back despite her identifying areas to help him. He gets so angry so quickly, my youngest son wanted to move out because he can’t live with the fear of his anger! If I approach him about anything he gets upset and angry . I want to help him , not alienate him. It’s been over 6 months since I have tried to get him to help himself and now I need to try again but don’t know what to do? What area to discuss first ? 

Parents
  • 7 months ago

    There have been a lot of good comments on here already. Is your son a goal oriented person? It is very hard for someone to accept help and try to make things work in life when they don’t see a reason to do so - it’s not easy to become independent and accept help even if we want it. I’m wondering if maybe after finishing the masters which was a clear goal, your son lost sight of where he wants to go and what he wants to do? The reason I am asking is because I am like that. I need some kind of goal in mind so that I have hope and a motivation to get better because there is something I really want to do. It doesn’t have to be a career goal- it could be something else to like wanting to save up for a trip/ hobby etc. I finding things very difficult at moment and I realised it is harder than usual because I have no tangible aim and too much uncertainty in the future. 
    For me at least it works best if i have something to work towards 

Reply
  • 7 months ago

    There have been a lot of good comments on here already. Is your son a goal oriented person? It is very hard for someone to accept help and try to make things work in life when they don’t see a reason to do so - it’s not easy to become independent and accept help even if we want it. I’m wondering if maybe after finishing the masters which was a clear goal, your son lost sight of where he wants to go and what he wants to do? The reason I am asking is because I am like that. I need some kind of goal in mind so that I have hope and a motivation to get better because there is something I really want to do. It doesn’t have to be a career goal- it could be something else to like wanting to save up for a trip/ hobby etc. I finding things very difficult at moment and I realised it is harder than usual because I have no tangible aim and too much uncertainty in the future. 
    For me at least it works best if i have something to work towards 

Children
  • 7 months ago in reply to Ann :)

    Thank you Ann. He does want a career job and has been applying for jobs but is not having success. Hence me wondering if it will help him at interviews if he has had a diagnosis.  Since furthering my own understanding I am now thinking  could his current state be burnout ? I wish you well in finding something to inspire you.