Used to be when I was in school I was quite the bookworm. Maybe it was escapism, but I was never out of the fiction section of the school library for long. I at one time or another recieved a brow beating from librarians who correctly guessed that time I spent reading fiction was time not spent on things like homework.
Nowadays it's a different story. I can walk into a bookstore, pick up a book that interests me, take it home and open it... and then likely not make it through the first page before I'm tossing it down. It's not that my mind wanders or I get fidgety as in might be the case with ADD. It's that once I start reading, I want very badly to not be reading anymore. The struggle to make it through a single chapter of a book, no matter how much it might interest me, is based entirely on my disdain for having to focus on it.
This doesn't just go for reading, though it's a very prevalent problem given how vital reading is to doing anything online. I find myself feeling resentful for anything that requires more than fleeting attention. It dissuades me from cooking, from exercising, from watching TV or movies (lord I can not sit through an episode of anything in one sitting). It makes me feel like I'm dispassionate towards everything in life. Maybe that's true, I don't really know. I just know I don't like it. I want to feel comfortable when I try to focus on something.
