I live with my dad and his wife. We don't have a dining room, so most food consumption happens in the living room. For them, at least. I dislike being seen eating mostly due to being overweight and feeling judged, but that's another issue. Recently, by which I mean within the past ten minutes, I've realised another issue of mine has suddenly spiked in severity.
Whenever I'm cooking in the kitchen, and someone happens to walk in, I always immediately feel their prying eyes looking past me to see what I'm cooking. Sometimes they're even less subtle and ask me directly about it. As of just this moment I've realised I dislike this so much that I feel like if I were to be seen cooking, I'd be overcome with an urge to throw the food out and leave the area. Given that I'm trying to overcome my aversion to vegetables, I feel like curiosity from the folks will spike even harder and they'll definitely want to know what I'm doing.
Of course, it's not like I can reasonably ask them to ignore me while I'm cooking, or stay out of the kitchen area. Them's just the breaks when you live with other people and I hate with a passion asking others to change behaviours or make exceptions regarding my condition. It's MY condition to deal with, not theirs.
I've tried Cognitive Behavioural Therapy in the past to try and sort through these difficult thoughts, but it's been years since it was last presented to me. I'm not a visual learner at all, so reading stuff up online tends to result in a lot of glossed over information as I struggle to stay focused.
I'm trying to overcome these silly neuroses my autism and upbringing have developed within me over the course of my lifetime. I don't need more.