Health anxiety is such a big problem for me. It means I'm obsessing over my health all the time, worrying that I'm really ill, feeling really ill and looking up health online which makes it even worse. This has been a part of my life since I've been a kid and gradually it's got worse as I've got older. Thanks to my health anxiety and a terrible phobia of medical places and doctors and nurses I'm unable to seek medical support. I can't think of anything worse than being in hospital, at the GP surgery or talking on the phone to them about my health.
And this is where my latest problem is. I've got my yearly checkup coming up next month, I had the letter come yesterday and this morning I'm already anxious and panicking. The letter said to ring up and confirm the appointment. This is going to be really difficult for me. I've written to them before and explained how my anxiety gets on the phone, especially as the receptionist will ask how I am, if anything has changed in the last year, how's my mental health. It's like 20 questions but it is so stressful! I wrote to them and they did respond and said a text service might be introduced which would be perfect for me! But this was over 5 years ago and still no text service so I'm guessing it isn't happening.
Actual appointments are Hell. I normally get sensory overload because of the environment - lots of noise, bright lighting and the fact that I'm in a medical building. It's the same when I go to the hospital. The smell is also very nauseating and difficult to handle.
I have no idea what I'm going to do about this. I'm currently trying to succeed in work and something like this will likely set me back. At my last general checkup I fainted and had multiple meltdowns, and it took a long time to build my confidence again and go out.
Is this something anyone else understands and relates with? I know there's not really a lot that can help it but it would help knowing I'm not the only one.
