Hey, so I'm new here and just wondering. Has anybody here struggled with the benefits system/receiving PIP and have any advice on what I can do?
A couple of years ago, I had my DLA/PIP cut off after being eligible to receive it for the past 5 years prior - in turn this has also reduced my ESA which is now my only source of income.
I am in shared supported living and have racked up over £7000 debt in care costs due to not understanding how to make payments or that they needed to be made.
It's difficult for me to find jobs suited to me where I can cope consistently or keep up with tasks needed to be done. I did try to hold down a job at Mcdonalds once but just couldn't deal with all the noise, how fast paced everything was and felt like I was clumsy and incompetent.
I also don't enjoy the stress of interviews and having to mask in order to be given an opportunity by the vast majority of employers. And so I need more support to fall back on for the sake of my mental health, in case I am not able to find or maintain employment.
I am unhappy where I am and while I need support with life skills, managing a home and I'm probably not ready to live completely alone, living with three other people who I don't gel with and having staff around almost 24/7 feels stifling. It's just not for me. I have expressed that I want my own flat/unit with someone who comes in for a few hours - as I am an introvert, I need space to recharge and don't always want to bump into people I'm not comfortable around and be forced to make small talk or deal with noise, other people's mess and habits.
I just feel stuck to the point where it's affecting my mental health and I'm not actually utilising the help on hand I have right now because all I want to do is isolate myself due to feeling frustrated, overwhelmed and unfulfilled.
My social skills aren't what they once were since I often stay in my room and don't really get on with anyone at my house. I no longer date due to still being in the process of healing from a 9 year long limerent attachment and having a hard time finding genuine, well-adjusted people with good intentions. So really, right now, I have a small handful of friends in my life and family but I only see them every so often.
I feel like the benefits system is built against those of us who are higher masking but are still in need of support and purposefully designed to turn down as many people as possible. I've even seen a video about a man with locked-in syndrome who couldn't see, speak or eat properly who wasn't scored high enough and denied what he was entitled to.
People who actually need the help just aren't receiving it. In an ideal world, the assessors hired should be trained to have empathy and proper knowledge/understanding towards the diagnosed conditions of the people they assess but it seems to be the opposite.
The first assessor I had was under the company ATOS who I believe other people have had bad experiences with and based their decision on a phone assessment which lasted two hours and I just don't think it's right. They haven't even observed how I am in person or how I interact face to face.
All they had to go off was my voice! I mentioned I have difficulty focusing, memory problems, executive functioning issues, deal with anxiety, can commute and stuff but sometimes get lost travelling to new places etc all of which can tie into many of day to day activities they ask applicants about but their verdict was basically "Well, you seem to speak well enough and don't sound like you struggle with those things based on the single phone call we had with you sooo... 
♀️"
Because I am used to trying to mask in order cope with stressful interactions and get things out of the way and I can articulate myself well, I feel like I'm not really taken seriously, despite still having my bad days and struggles which I feel makes me eligible to receive support. 
My sister tried to help me apply again, get together all the documents and have another reassessment where she was there to also talk on my behalf and I was turned down a second time. I lost track of where we were up to multiple times during the process. As she deals with BPD and her own mental health troubles, she tends to fall off the radar and is just about managing herself.
I just don't know if I have it in me to try again as I find the process overwhelming - it's not something I can do alone - due to losing track of things, finding making phone calls and collecting evidence stressful.
Where's the best place I can go to receive help? Citizens advice bureau? Any charities/organisations or disability solicitors that anybody can reccomend?
These assessors claim that they make their decisions based on the "best information available" in their reports - but if that was the case, they'd see that I've been diagnosed with autism, ADHD, OCD, a mild learning disability and sleep problems from a young age in my medical records and that I'm in supported accomodation and not deemed fit at the moment to live independently.
Also, recently I've been dealing with auditory hallucinations and hearing voices, mainly an aggressive male voice telling me I'm ugly, insane, to move on, that they don't care about me, they wan't me dead etc - ended up calling the mental health crisis line and was prescribed anti-depressants. I feel this might be due to lack of fulfillment in my life, poor lifestyle and internalised guilt and shame from a limerent attachment I've had to somebody for the past 9 years that I'm currently trying to work through.
Which are major issues that are taking my toll on me and probably also need to be looked into and potentially diagnosed.
I understand this is a lot to read through but if there's anybody here who can offer guidance and/or share their experiences - I'd really appreciate it.
